toefl writing test January 28, 2019 TOEFL independent writing test 1 with sample essay — Question:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?It is better to have a job that you enjoy to do rather than a job with high income.Give reasons a

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toefl writing test

January 28, 2019

TOEFL independent writing test 1 with sample essay

Question:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

It is better to have a job that you enjoy to do rather than a job with high income.

Give reasons and details to support your answer.

Many people think finance is the most important element to have a good life. Therefore, a lot of workers are willing to dismiss their family, friends and even current health to get a job with high salary. From my point of view, I disagree with this notion because satisfaction in job, family relationship and life without depending on medical support are more valuable than money if people want to own a healthy and happy life.

To begin with, satisfaction in job is more important than the amount of salary people receive. Nowadays, people tend to stay in offices eight hours or more a day. It is considered that workers spend most of time in life to work and work. As the saying goes, “when work is a pleasure, life is a joy; when work is a duty, life is slavery”. Therefore, there is really no worse thing than facing a boring work day by day. However, getting a satisfactory job is not easy because of outside effects. By having too high expectation, some parents, by chance, make pressure on their children to take a high salary job as soon as graduation, even these jobs are not suitable with them. For instance, my cousin wanted to be a bicycle athlete as her career after graduating from high school, while her parents wanted her to go on learning higher to get a high salary job in future. At the first time, her mother tried to persuade her to change mind with many reasons such as salary, promotion and gender. Ignoring these things, my cousin still pursued her obsession devotedly to give a demonstration of her satisfactory job. With her passion, she got a lot of awards and certifications of honor in World Olympic Games and SEA Games. As a result, her family was proud of her so much, and my cousin herself was happy with her life as well, in spite of receiving a little money from these competitions. From that day, she has never complained or regretted about her life because she vitally got the satisfaction in job, her dream job.

In addition, having a high salary job causes family relationship injury that may make effects on mental health. If people claim that a successful business always has a wonderful life, I think they may make a mistake. With a successful person, a big challenge may be not the way to solve a financial problem, but to harmonize his work and family. In fact, both of them take people a lot of time to build and maintain. Yet, it seems to be a gap between family and work that makes harmonization harder. As a successful business with high wage job, I must work more than eight hours per day, hang out to drink with my boss or other cooperators frequently for relationship and promotion even if these things are harmful for health. Consequently, business takes me away from my family because I no longer attend family’s events even a meal. My daughter and son consider me as a guest in their home, no responsibility, no love from them. Therefore, by pressure of work and depression from family, my health becomes worse and worse. The saying “money makes the mare go” is useless, because I lose my family and health.

Finally, the much more money people receive the more stress they get. Many studying/studies claim that stress is the main reason for some physical and mental problems such as depression, anoxia, and insomnia. This symptom, in particular, is more serious with the youth. They are easily attracted by work with high wage, so they are committed to work willingly without taking care of their health. There is a common thinking that through earning a lot of money, people can enjoy life completely. Personally, enjoying life completely means owning a healthy life without being affected by any equipment such as medicines, pacemaker or crutches. Instead of working day and night for earning more and more money, people can spend some hours with family to do housework or take a “pack back” tour on holidays. I believe that people will be more laid back, physical and mental well-being after these activities. In fact, the best things in life are free, and healthy and happiness are the things. People really do not need to be rich to be healthier.

In brief, I strongly disagree that we need to have a job that earns a high salary to be physically and spiritually happy and healthy. My mother told me that “shrouds have no pockets”. Thus, the important thing is how we enjoy this life healthily with a happy family, satisfaction job and independent from medical supports. The high salary job is not a main factor to live, just a goal to try and live better.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 870, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...earning higher to get a high salary job in future. At the first time, her mother tried to...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 773, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...urs with family to do housework or take a 'pack back' tour on holidays....
^
Line 9, column 399, Rule ID: TRY_AND[1]
Message: "Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "'try to'" is recommended for writing.
Suggestion: try to
...t a main factor to live, just a goal to try and live better.
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, finally, first, however, if, may, really, so, still, therefore, thus, well, while, for instance, i think, in addition, in brief, in fact, in particular, such as, as a result, in spite of, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 34.0 15.1003584229 225% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 33.0 13.8261648746 239% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 72.0 43.0788530466 167% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 101.0 52.1666666667 194% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 8.0752688172 186% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3774.0 1977.66487455 191% => OK
No of words: 799.0 407.700716846 196% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.72340425532 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.31663314986 4.48103885553 119% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70277771086 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 355.0 212.727598566 167% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.444305381727 0.524837075471 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1183.5 618.680645161 191% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 19.0 9.59856630824 198% => OK
Article: 7.0 3.08781362007 227% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 16.0 4.94265232975 324% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 40.0 20.6003584229 194% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.0983298362 48.9658058833 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.35 100.406767564 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.975 20.6045352989 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.5 5.45110844103 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 24.0 11.8709677419 202% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 3.85842293907 259% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.169983420048 0.236089414692 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0467886993866 0.076458572812 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0469370471722 0.0737576698707 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.118942039483 0.150856017488 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0348250991075 0.0645574589148 54% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.8 11.7677419355 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.1 10.9000537634 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.4 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 143.0 86.8835125448 165% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Write the essay in 30 minutes.

Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.