TPO 13
Do you agree or disagree ?The extended family (grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles) is less important now than it was in the past?
In today's modern life, thanks to the technological breakthroughs in every section of science, the relationship between people has altered dramatically. Some people are of the opinion that nowadays, the priority of the youths' life is not their families anymore, while others believe that developing first years of life in the family, individuals tend to have a strong relationship with families. I personally, subscribe to the view that extended families are not as important as it was in the past; we are taught to be independent, having less contact with our families in the small scale, and the large scale our qualities and abilities are measured by our capabilities, nor do like the past age by families and relatives. In the following paragraphs, my reasons will be elaborated on in more detail.
To commence, it is undeniable that the way of our life moderated during the lase decades. In fact, after the 18 years old, or in other words, at the beginning of adulthood, people are encouraged to decide essential decisions such as future career, the city or country for living, and finding a partner, which needs meticulous attention. Especially, going to college and finding a job give us independence during the first years after becoming an adult. Enormous reasons address to keep distances between a person and its families ranging from busy routine life to make a new friend, which would be a replacement for traditional families. To delve more into it, many TV programs and series, based on the real way of life, demonstrate that young people come to big cities, where their dreams would become real. they find job, make new friends, and spend most of their time with them. Therefore, in my opinion, they chose a new family for themselves, while in another point of view, most of these series illustrate a point that either grandparents, cousins, and uncles are related to childhood or the time that ones lived with parents. it means, as a matter of fact, neither have children or families serious emotional feelings about each other.
another reason I believe the extended family is not as important as before is that societies are involved in the path of choosing a person based on their merits, not families. In contrast, in the past time, fathers and grandfathers played a crucial role in the future life of descendants. As a case in point, if a father had power and money, their children, specifically first son, would take power and money too, without any efforts or particular capability, they benefited from relatives. Indeed, the family was a strong institution during the past ages; the variety of events had been limited to kinship. For instance, marriage had taken place between two cousins, or for finding a job young people first sought between relatives then ask strangers. However, today's just as independence is identified as a worthy goal in life and become a desirable attitude for our generation, so do we attempt to foster our abilities for achieving success and welfare.
Drawing upon the reasons that I mentioned above, I enhance the fact that relationships between people in the extended families have changed. Not only is this practice less important than the past, but also the meaning of the family as a strong and powerful object has altered, hence increasing independence and meritocracy.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 219, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'youths'' or 'youth's'?
Suggestion: youths'; youth's
...nion that nowadays, the priority of the youths life is not their families anymore, whi...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...will be elaborated on in more detail. To commence, it is undeniable that the w...
^^^^
Line 3, column 814, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
..., where their dreams would become real. they find job, make new friends, and spend m...
^^^^
Line 3, column 1138, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
... the time that ones lived with parents. it means, as a matter of fact, neither hav...
^^
Line 3, column 1191, Rule ID: NEITHER_NOR[1]
Message: Use 'nor' with neither.
Suggestion: nor
...a matter of fact, neither have children or families serious emotional feelings abo...
^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...emotional feelings about each other. another reason I believe the extended fa...
^^^^
Line 5, column 5, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Another
...ional feelings about each other. another reason I believe the extended family is...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 201, Rule ID: PAST_TIME[1]
Message: Did you mean 'pastime'?
Suggestion: pastime
...rits, not families. In contrast, in the past time, fathers and grandfathers played a cruc...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... achieving success and welfare. Drawing upon the reasons that I mentione...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, however, if, so, then, therefore, while, for instance, in contrast, in fact, such as, as a matter of fact, in my opinion, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 24.0 13.8261648746 174% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 43.0788530466 97% => OK
Preposition: 81.0 52.1666666667 155% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2785.0 1977.66487455 141% => OK
No of words: 555.0 407.700716846 136% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.01801801802 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.85370353223 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79541289476 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 293.0 212.727598566 138% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.527927927928 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 882.0 618.680645161 143% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 8.0 1.86738351254 428% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 11.0 4.94265232975 223% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 20.1344086022 134% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 64.7107989442 48.9658058833 132% => OK
Chars per sentence: 139.25 100.406767564 139% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.75 20.6045352989 135% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.05 5.45110844103 148% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.5376344086 163% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.153671002998 0.236089414692 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0440398059259 0.076458572812 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0571575646673 0.0737576698707 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.111606818039 0.150856017488 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.044988236104 0.0645574589148 70% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 11.7677419355 137% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 58.1214874552 76% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 10.1575268817 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.13 10.9000537634 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.65 8.01818996416 108% => OK
difficult_words: 129.0 86.8835125448 148% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.5 10.002688172 195% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.0537634409 127% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.