TPO-15 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your ans

There is no doubt that children learn tremendous things during their childhood. It is not far-fetched to presume that successful adult acquired this successfulness from his/ her childhood. Some people advocate that children should learn to manage their own money in order to become financially responsible adult. As far as I'm concerned, I think that children dont have to learn this matter in their childhood. Because, they aren't old enough to endure this burden. Furthermore, they have to concentrate on their academic study during this period. The rationale behind my statement will be further elaborated in the ensuing essay.

First and foremost, children aren't able to take this responsibility on their shoulders. That will be so exhausting for children. This responsibility doesn't accommodate with their small age. For instance, I read an article on-line about this aspect. Researchers in Sydney university faculty of psychology found that children who endure the burden of their financial issues have many serious health problems. While the children who are not in charge for this matter, are more healthy and more flourishing in their future. This example shows clearly the bad impact on children if they are allowed to manage their own money.

The second crucial aspect which should be considered is that children at that age should focus on their education. Children who focus on their education and academic learning have more opportunities to be thrived in their future and to achieve a sense of accomplishment. The example from my own experience might shade some light to this aspect. When I was a child, All my responsibility is to study and get grate marks. pursue this attitude helped me in a long run. It enabled me to be successful and enable me to gain the edge against my rivals. Because of that i became a pharmacist and have a fundamental role in my society. Therefore, from my example I can say that children should only focus on their studying during that period.

To sum up, I'm firmly convinced that children shouldn't learn to manage their money at young age. That is because children are too small to endure this burden. Moreover, children should concentrate on their studying in order to thrive in their life

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Average: 6 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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Suggestion: I'm
...inancially responsible adult. As far as Im concerned, I think that children dont h...
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Suggestion: don't
... as Im concerned, I think that children dont have to learn this matter in their chil...
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Line 1, column 412, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...o learn this matter in their childhood. Because, they arent old enough to endure this b...
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Suggestion: aren't
...atter in their childhood. Because, they arent old enough to endure this burden. Furth...
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Suggestion:
...elaborated in the ensuing essay. First and foremost, children arent able ...
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Suggestion: aren't
.... First and foremost, children arent able to take this responsibility on the...
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Suggestion: doesn't
...sting for children. This responsibility doesnt accommodate with their small age. For i...
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...e allowed to manage their own money. The second crucial aspect which should...
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Suggestion: to have
...n their education and academic learning have more opportunities to be thrived in the...
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Suggestion: Pursue
...bility is to study and get grate marks. pursue this attitude helped me in a long run. ...
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... run. It enabled me to be successful and enable me to gain the edge against my ri...
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Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...edge against my rivals. Because of that i became a pharmacist and have a fundamen...
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Suggestion:
...eir studying during that period. To sum up, Im firmly convinced that chil...
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Suggestion: I'm
...during that period. To sum up, Im firmly convinced that children shouldnt...
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Suggestion: shouldn't
...m up, Im firmly convinced that children shouldnt learn to manage their money at young ag...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, furthermore, if, moreover, second, so, therefore, while, for instance, i think, no doubt, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.0286738351 163% => OK
Pronoun: 62.0 43.0788530466 144% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1886.0 1977.66487455 95% => OK
No of words: 370.0 407.700716846 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.0972972973 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38581623665 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77518482989 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 187.0 212.727598566 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.505405405405 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 576.0 618.680645161 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 20.1344086022 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 29.1186812888 48.9658058833 59% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 75.44 100.406767564 75% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.8 20.6045352989 72% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.24 5.45110844103 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 15.0 5.5376344086 271% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.88709677419 246% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.247005825071 0.236089414692 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0805547348006 0.076458572812 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0806456738851 0.0737576698707 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.179551849653 0.150856017488 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0388235203921 0.0645574589148 60% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.0 11.7677419355 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.27 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.8 10.1575268817 87% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.71 10.9000537634 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.96 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 86.8835125448 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.0537634409 76% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.