TPO-24 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.Use specific reasons and examples

In general, teenage is the most unstable and have a lot to worry. And teenage life influence adult life. Myriad experience will construct a person. while the part-time job, children learn various things.Although the part-time job brings good effect for children, I disagree with this opinion because other experiences outweigh the part-time job. To enchant my viewpoint, I discuss specific reasons in the following paragraphs.

First of all, while to do the part-time job to earn money is the precious experience, there are more precious experiences that only teenage can do. To be adult, people have to work for life and time are limited.In youthful, it is enough time to pursuit dream, and it will help you when you grow up even if it does not succeed. There are various events that useful in adulthood, like cooperating with someone, studying hard and more. Moreover, Many successful persons achieved something that relates interested in teenage. For example, Mark Zuckerberg who is CEO of FaceBook. When he was the teenager, he was interested in programming and made the music player that was highly assessed by the company. Even if it directly connect to the future job, experience in their interest field will help them a lot.

Furthermore, the part-time job has a risk that harms juvenile. The duty of a student is to study. The quantity of studying affects the future career. However, the part-time takes time for study. In Japan, the illegal part-time job becomes the serious problem. Illegal part-time job force part-timer to attend the work. Also it fine for absences. It is obviously harmful. The teenager will lose their time to go school and play with friends. In such a workplace, harassments and threats are being done on a daily basis. Psychologically, harassments and threats endanger the mental and leave damage to the future.

In conclusion, sometimes the part-time job be the harmful and more valuable experience can be obtained than to work at the part-time job.
If a child wishes to work part-time, let them do it. However, if they do not, let them have their own way.

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Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 149, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: While
...iad experience will construct a person. while the part-time job, children learn vario...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 204, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Although
...time job, children learn various things.Although the part-time job brings good effect fo...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 212, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
...e to work for life and time are limited.In youthful, it is enough time to pursuit ...
^^
Line 3, column 722, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'connects'?
Suggestion: connects
...sed by the company. Even if it directly connect to the future job, experience in their ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 320, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ob force part-timer to attend the work. Also it fine for absences. It is obviously h...
^^^^
Line 5, column 328, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'fines'?
Suggestion: fines
... part-timer to attend the work. Also it fine for absences. It is obviously harmful. ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 15, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...damage to the future. In conclusion, sometimes the part-time job be the harmf...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, furthermore, however, if, moreover, so, while, for example, in conclusion, in general, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 43.0788530466 63% => OK
Preposition: 36.0 52.1666666667 69% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1753.0 1977.66487455 89% => OK
No of words: 350.0 407.700716846 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.00857142857 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.32530772707 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76955606846 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 212.727598566 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.56 0.524837075471 107% => OK
syllable_count: 541.8 618.680645161 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 13.0 20.1344086022 65% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 44.6146551665 48.9658058833 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 67.4230769231 100.406767564 67% => OK
Words per sentence: 13.4615384615 20.6045352989 65% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.30769230769 5.45110844103 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.326542168638 0.236089414692 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0803797057141 0.076458572812 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0693691231696 0.0737576698707 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.188466789344 0.150856017488 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0477472204382 0.0645574589148 74% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.9 11.7677419355 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 66.74 58.1214874552 115% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.2 10.1575268817 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.19 10.9000537634 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.3 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 86.8835125448 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.2 10.0537634409 72% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.