TPO-24 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.Use specific reasons and examples

Parents are always worried about the future of their children. They plan some activities for them to ensure they will ready for adult life. One of the ways that some parents use is finding a part-time job for their children. While some think doing a part-time job by children is not helpful, I agree that this way prepare children for their future efficiently.
First, by doing a part-time job, children can learn to manage their money. They realize the value of money. They understand for earning money, they should attempt and assign their time for working which can use for playing and having fun. When they get their salary which they earn by themselves, they try to spend it correctly. Furthermore, they learn how to save their money for purchasing something which is beneficial. As a result, they develop their financial skills which mean how to manage and to expend their expenses and their earnings. For instance, when My brother was a teenager, he started working part-time in a repair shop. All the time he got paid, he saved his money. Finally, he could buy a beautiful bicycle. That is why he can manage his money efficiently now.
Second, children improve their communication skills. When they work, they learn how to behave with their co-workers, consumers appropriately. They also learn control and manage their emotions. Besides, they learn group working, speaking in public, demanding their rights and most importantly, responsibility. For instance, when I was a teenager, I worked in a grocery store for a few months. I learned how to be patient and control my emotions in situations in which consumers got angry and how to speak with them to be calm. So, we could talk in a better situation and solved a problem.
To sum up, doing a part-time job by children is effective. Children can learn how to spend their money properly and improve their social skills.

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Average: 6 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 213, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to group'
Suggestion: to group
...age their emotions. Besides, they learn group working, speaking in public, demanding ...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, finally, first, furthermore, if, second, so, while, for instance, as a result, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 43.0788530466 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 29.0 52.1666666667 56% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1563.0 1977.66487455 79% => OK
No of words: 320.0 407.700716846 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.884375 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22948505376 4.48103885553 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62599497512 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 161.0 212.727598566 76% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.503125 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 458.1 618.680645161 74% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 18.0 9.59856630824 188% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 13.0 20.1344086022 65% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 29.841420827 48.9658058833 61% => OK
Chars per sentence: 67.9565217391 100.406767564 68% => OK
Words per sentence: 13.9130434783 20.6045352989 68% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.47826086957 5.45110844103 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.232911409813 0.236089414692 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.086214270514 0.076458572812 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0839813454052 0.0737576698707 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.183731951697 0.150856017488 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0941020742151 0.0645574589148 146% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.5 11.7677419355 72% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 75.2 58.1214874552 129% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.0 10.1575268817 59% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 10.43 10.9000537634 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.49 8.01818996416 93% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 86.8835125448 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.2 10.0537634409 72% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.