TPO- 35-2
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
There is no doubt that people have great attention to private life of athletes and famous people. However, I strongly believe they should have more privacy than they have now. Since, protecting the privacy of well-known people would bring benefits not only for them, but also for their families.
To begin with, the life of figurehead is a kind of pattern for people, especially for kids. Furthermore, no one is a perfect people and probably some of the well-known people have some problems in their life such as drug abuse or drink alcohol. Therefore, elucidating about figurehead life could have detrimental effects on the fabric of the society and can have negative effects on the fans of well-known people.
Secondly, in some cases, after exposing some aspect of famous people private life, they have to put a lot of effort to explain about their private life. Therefore, they cannot take more attention in their professional life which can lead to detrimental effect on their work. For example, Mohamed Golzar one of the famous actors in Iran, after getting divorce from their wife, put a lot of effort to explain the reasons of this divorce in mass media.
Eventually, protecting of private life of well-known people would have benefit for their families. Actually, the kids of famous people suffer from media exposure which have limited the privacy of them. Definitely, they like to have freedom similar to other people. While, in the long time when they feel that many eye watching them, they would suffer from some diseases such as anxiety.
To sum up, it seems to me that, government should take the privacy of famous people into consideration, because it would bring benefits not only for them and their family, but also for society.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2020-01-26 | mashghanbar | 66 | view |
| 2020-01-10 | Shiimaaa | 80 | view |
| 2020-01-08 | dentista1985 | 76 | view |
| 2020-01-03 | fafar | 73 | view |
| 2019-12-18 | mobinzaarreh | 70 | view |
- TPO-40 - Integrated Writing Task 80
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- TOEFL T P O 40 - Integrated Writing Task 3
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
There is no doubt that people have great...
^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...for them, but also for their families. To begin with, the life of figurehead is...
^^^
Line 2, column 148, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...no one is a perfect people and probably some of the well-known people have some problems in...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ects on the fans of well-known people. Secondly, in some cases, after exposing ...
^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...reasons of this divorce in mass media. Eventually, protecting of private life o...
^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...er from some diseases such as anxiety. To sum up, it seems to me that, governme...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, furthermore, however, if, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, while, for example, kind of, no doubt, such as, in some cases, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 3.0 15.1003584229 20% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 43.0788530466 63% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 52.1666666667 90% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1457.0 1977.66487455 74% => OK
No of words: 294.0 407.700716846 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.95578231293 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.14082457966 4.48103885553 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.45309791665 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 145.0 212.727598566 68% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.493197278912 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 462.6 618.680645161 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.6385196742 48.9658058833 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.071428571 100.406767564 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0 20.6045352989 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 12.3571428571 5.45110844103 227% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.175963546735 0.236089414692 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0824694961703 0.076458572812 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0743214578899 0.0737576698707 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.11613113054 0.150856017488 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0700304636907 0.0645574589148 108% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 11.7677419355 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 58.1214874552 86% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 10.9000537634 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.79 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 58.0 86.8835125448 67% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.