TPO 35 - Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
privacy is one of the fundamental right that every human being enjoy. privacy means one's ability to move and speak purely based on his free willingness. it is just like a port or a shield that provides us a personal space amid this complex society. personally, I think that public figures are equally entitled to privacy as general publics, and they deserve more than how much they have now. I will further explain in the following essay.
To begin with, today most public figures' privacy are seriously invaded by the various types of media. In the past, they were chased by TV reporters, while today they are even followed by fans or strangers whoever use the mobile phones with cameras to capture their private life. however, entertainers and athletes are not different from you and me in that they need to release and rest when they are off work. Moreover, everyone definitely has an area or field where he or she hopes to keep it private. this might be his family, friends and relationships. In other words, no one should be deprived of the right to privacy. there was a tragedy - Prince Diana - reminding us to respect and give more privacy to public figures. Our curiosity can not sufficiently justify any action that intervene others privacy.
only one exception to this rule is when the behaviors of public figures might have negative effect on the society, it should be allowed to reveal his actions to the public. general speaking, entertainers and athletes are more influential since most teenagers regard them as idols and are likely to imitate. Due to their influence, it is reasonable to examine their behaviors related to public interests. For example, if an athlete littered in the park, it should be permitted to disclose them to the public. In such circumstance, the athlete could not claim the society deprive his privacy.
To conclude, I agree that generally public figures deserve more privacy than they do now. this is because they are just like normal person who need some private space to enjoy life. however, there is only one exception to this rule when their behaviors would be harmful to the society.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Privacy
privacy is one of the fundamental right that ev...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 71, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Privacy
...tal right that every human being enjoy. privacy means ones ability to move and speak pu...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 85, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
... every human being enjoy. privacy means ones ability to move and speak purely based ...
^^^^
Line 1, column 154, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...k purely based on his free willingness. it is just like a port or a shield that pr...
^^
Line 1, column 250, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Personally
...rsonal space amid this complex society. personally, I think that public figures are equall...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r explain in the following essay. To begin with, today most public figures...
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Line 9, column 280, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
... cameras to capture their private life. however, entertainers and athletes are not diff...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 504, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...ere he or she hopes to keep it private. this might be his family, friends and relati...
^^^^
Line 9, column 624, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: There
...ld be deprived of the right to privacy. there was a tragedy - Prince Diana - remindin...
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Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ion that intervene others privacy. only one exception to this rule is when ...
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Line 17, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Only
...t intervene others privacy. only one exception to this rule is when the ...
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Line 17, column 174, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: General
...ed to reveal his actions to the public. general speaking, entertainers and athletes are...
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Line 21, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...m the society deprive his privacy. To conclude, I agree that generally publ...
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Line 25, column 91, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
... deserve more privacy than they do now. this is because they are just like normal pe...
^^^^
Line 25, column 183, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
... need some private space to enjoy life. however, there is only one exception to this ru...
^^^^^^^
Line 29, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s would be harmful to the society.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, moreover, so, while, as to, for example, i think, in other words, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 15.1003584229 146% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 43.0788530466 102% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1832.0 1977.66487455 93% => OK
No of words: 364.0 407.700716846 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.03296703297 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.36792674256 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.51585791398 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 204.0 212.727598566 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.56043956044 0.524837075471 107% => OK
syllable_count: 583.2 618.680645161 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.2950800912 48.9658058833 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.2380952381 100.406767564 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.3333333333 20.6045352989 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.38095238095 5.45110844103 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 16.0 5.5376344086 289% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.210034123815 0.236089414692 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0582212749041 0.076458572812 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0750558090191 0.0737576698707 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.134742563786 0.150856017488 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0308685133543 0.0645574589148 48% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 58.1214874552 93% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.6 10.9000537634 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.43 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 86.8835125448 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.