TPO-40
There are many approaches when it comes to encouraging children to excel in school, each with a controversial set of pros and cons. One if the major ideas in this regard is awarding children with gifts or money for each good grade they get in school. Although there are many that think this method can persuade children to study more intently and try to exceed, I, on the contrary, disagree with this method for many reasons, some of which are enlisted below.
Firstly, I think the idea of being treated with gifts and especially money for good grades can lead to the materialization of education and school for children. School should about learning the value of education, exploring ones talents and interests and helping children peruse a major which they are interested in and can lead to they're desired future. By offering money in return for good grades, we are demeaning the true value of knowledge for them. Also, the process might become a habit, thus effecting their future. If a child is constantly awarded with money for grades, he/she might draw definite lines between education and materialistic wealth, which can in turn impact the university major and career decisions he/she might make; leading to an unhealthy interest in well-paid careers, and majors leading to those careers and no acknowledgement for other fields.
Another disadvantage to this approach can be the psychological effect it might have on children. Being awarded with money for good grades can lead to an unhealthy competition between classmates and siblings, which can in turn lead to anxiety problems. If a child constantly witnesses a sibling or classmate be rewarded for grades, he/she might become obsessed with trying to excel in school and competing for better grades and in turn rewards. This can lead to anxiety, especially in younger children. It can also cause a child who is constantly trying to improve grades for the prize to become discouraged and resentful towards school and education.
All the mentioned point aside, I think children should be acknowledge for their hard work leading to a high grade, as long as it does not become a habit. With that said, I feel that it is better that the child is not rewarded with money directly, but certain gifts he/she has desired or perhaps an activity or trip of interest to the child. Although, it should be kept in mind that this should not become a habit and that the child knows the true prize is the high grade and sense of self-competence.
In the end, I think children should be acknowledged for their endeavors in school but I do not agree with rewarding them with money and material gifts, as they might divert the child's attention from what is truly of value: good education.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 225, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...rning the value of education, exploring ones talents and interests and helping child...
^^^^
Line 3, column 333, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: they're
... they are interested in and can lead to theyre desired future. By offering money in re...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 59, Rule ID: SHOULD_BE_DO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'acknowledged'?
Suggestion: acknowledged
...point aside, I think children should be acknowledge for their hard work leading to a high g...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, so, thus, well, i feel, i think, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 9.8082437276 204% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 25.0 13.8261648746 181% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 43.0788530466 95% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 52.1666666667 113% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2279.0 1977.66487455 115% => OK
No of words: 465.0 407.700716846 114% => OK
Chars per words: 4.90107526882 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64369019777 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63524147466 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 212.727598566 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.455913978495 0.524837075471 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 683.1 618.680645161 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 20.1344086022 134% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 67.271129352 48.9658058833 137% => OK
Chars per sentence: 134.058823529 100.406767564 134% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.3529411765 20.6045352989 133% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.64705882353 5.45110844103 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0 0.236089414692 0% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0 0.076458572812 0% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0737576698707 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0 0.150856017488 0% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0645574589148 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 11.7677419355 130% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.53 58.1214874552 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 10.1575268817 124% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.44 10.9000537634 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.17 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 94.0 86.8835125448 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.0537634409 127% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.