It is clear that celebrities are important part of our lives specially young people's lives; we can see them on Television everyday, they are on the internet, and we talk about them, about their successes, their lifestyle, even the kind of their cars and houses. Some people believe that the opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people. Others disagree with the idea. Although a lot of people believe that famous people are important not only for teanagers but for old people because they are usually more free than younger people to talk about them, I am in favor with those people who think famous people are more important to younger people than older people for two important reasons.
First, young people like to be updated. Because most people watch television, they use the internet, and generally, they use the media, famous people such as athletes, entertainer and actors are their criteria. For example, when I was a child, about twenty years ago. Ali Daee was captain of national footabal team. He was good at footbal. Everyone like to play like him. Besides, My friends and I tried to wear like him and talke like him. As time went on, and we got older, it changed. I mean we try to follow another athlete named Ali Karimi. But about our father, they always said we wasted our time. They advised us to not follow these people. As you can see, at that time, unlike our fathers, it was important for us how famous people wear and how they treat.
Second, younger people are more sociabale than older people. They need to wear diffrent from others to be more attracted by others. They socialize with other people not only in real world but they also communicate with each other on the Internet. Take social networks for instance, these networks try to promote some advertisment to make more money; they, consequently need to increase their members. One of most important ways to increase their members is that they try to spread some news about famous people such as entertainers, athletes, actors, and actres. Teenager start to talk about this kind of topic.
To sum up, I completely agree with the idea that the opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people. Not only young people like to be update but they also are more sociabl than their fathers. It seems sometimes it waste our time to waste our time talking about such people or following them.
- Who influence more family or friends 71
- People benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign countries 53
- TPO-28 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents today are more involved in their children’s education than were parents in the past.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 60
- Some parents forbid their children from owning the smart phones, however the other believe that smart phone is important for keep in touch. which one do you agree? and why? 60
- TPO-03 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 70
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
It is clear that celebrities are importa...
^^^^
Line 1, column 127, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
...es lives; we can see them on Television everyday, they are on the internet, and we talk ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...er people for two important reasons. First, young people like to be updated. ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...mous people wear and how they treat. Second, younger people are more sociabal...
^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t to talk about this kind of topic. To sum up, I completely agree with the i...
^^^^
Line 7, column 287, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[9]
Message: The adverb 'sometimes' is usually put before the verb 'seems'.
Suggestion: sometimes seems
...are more sociabl than their fathers. It seems sometimes it waste our time to waste our time tal...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 306, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'wastes'?
Suggestion: wastes
...an their fathers. It seems sometimes it waste our time to waste our time talking abou...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, consequently, first, if, second, so, for example, for instance, i mean, kind of, such as, talking about, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 64.0 43.0788530466 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 60.0 52.1666666667 115% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2107.0 1977.66487455 107% => OK
No of words: 440.0 407.700716846 108% => OK
Chars per words: 4.78863636364 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57997565096 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.37503262266 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 212.727598566 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.454545454545 0.524837075471 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 662.4 618.680645161 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 19.0 9.59856630824 198% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 74.2697785105 48.9658058833 152% => OK
Chars per sentence: 84.28 100.406767564 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.6 20.6045352989 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.36 5.45110844103 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.361358023559 0.236089414692 153% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.113141941609 0.076458572812 148% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.134801274015 0.0737576698707 183% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.264622041238 0.150856017488 175% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0814098755912 0.0645574589148 126% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.9 11.7677419355 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.21 10.9000537634 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.35 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 86.8835125448 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.