TPO-46 - Independent Writing TaskDo you agree or disagree with the following statement?The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.Use specific reasons and examp

Nowadays, it is commonly accepted that the celebrities are important for young people and most of their followers are including young people and teenagers and we can find very less older people who seriously attention to some celebrities person. Contrary to this popular beliefs there are still those who argue that the celebrities are important for older people too but the older people do not show their interest to celebrities. Because of they afraid kidding by other people in the society. I, to a great extent, agree with this idea that the celebrities are more important for young people that they are for older people.
First and foremost, the young stage of life is the period that people have hights energy and they searching for anything that can be excited them. In addition, the young stage of life is the time for important decision making about their future life and they should find out that what they want to do with their life. And to answer this question they need some leader or someone that they can use from their experience as a template for receiving to the successful life. For example, when I was in the high school one of my friend who likes to become a famous actor, she followed all of news and information about her favorite actor Mahnaz Afshar that she was a famous actor at this time and my friend try to know that where art school she went or she study in which university and something like this . Because she believes that if she does all of the works that Afshar does she can be successful like her.
On another significant fact, that should be taken into the consideration is that our behavior and our interest change over time. Most of the adult person is so busy with the daily works and concerns about their jobs, families to their children. They find their major and it is not important to them that what doing other people. For example, when I was young it was very important to me that have a signature from my favorite singer. But now seeing my children paintings is best attractive gifts that I can have it.
On the bases of reasons that mentioned above, I am convinced that celebrities are more attractive for the young person that for older people. Because, of special characteristics of young age period of life and also, alternation is people behavior during the life.

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Average: 4.4 (3 votes)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 179, Rule ID: LESS_COMPARATIVE[1]
Message: Non-standard use of the comparative or superlative. Did you mean 'less old'?
Suggestion: less old
...ople and teenagers and we can find very less older people who seriously attention to a som...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 400, Rule ID: DONT_NEEDS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'show'?
Suggestion: show
... people too but the older people do not shows their interest to celeberities. Because...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 438, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...t shows their interest to celeberities. Because rhey afraid to diding through other pe...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 481, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ause rhey afraid to diding through other people in the society. I, to a great ext...
^^
Line 2, column 149, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[2]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: addition,
...or anythinghs that can exiting them. In addition the young stage of life is the time for...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 368, Rule ID: ANY_BODY[1]
Message: Did you mean 'someone'?
Suggestion: someone
...this question they need some leadrer or some one that they can using from their experian...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 391, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'use'
Suggestion: use
... some leadrer or some one that they can using from their experiance as template for r...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 541, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...ool one of my friend who like to become an famus actor, she folowing all of news a...
^^
Line 2, column 739, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'she' must be used with a third-person verb: 'studies'.
Suggestion: studies
...w that where art school she went or she study in whick university and something like ...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 788, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...whick university and something like this . Because she believes that if she do all...
^^
Line 2, column 824, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'she' must be used with a third-person verb: 'does'.
Suggestion: does
...this . Because she believes that if she do all of works that Afshar does she can b...
^^
Line 3, column 471, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[4]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'is the best'.
Suggestion: is the best
...r. But now seeing my children paintings is best attractive gifts that I can have it. ...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, so, still, for example, in addition, to a great extent

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 25.0 11.0286738351 227% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 67.0 43.0788530466 156% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1897.0 1977.66487455 96% => OK
No of words: 407.0 407.700716846 100% => OK
Chars per words: 4.66093366093 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49157444576 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.40943091092 2.67179642975 90% => OK
Unique words: 202.0 212.727598566 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.496314496314 0.524837075471 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 594.9 618.680645161 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 9.59856630824 42% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 64.5198612832 48.9658058833 132% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.5625 100.406767564 118% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.4375 20.6045352989 123% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.75 5.45110844103 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.5376344086 217% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.11265763232 0.236089414692 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0462339812995 0.076458572812 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0488584485464 0.0737576698707 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0782096553199 0.150856017488 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0491481715886 0.0645574589148 76% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 11.7677419355 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 58.1214874552 94% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.04 10.9000537634 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.79 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 86.8835125448 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.