TPO 54 Writing Independent
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Government money support and distribution is one of the most critical concerns of the modern society. Needless to say that fundemental requirments of arts need aid of the governments as olympic teams. Some people may find governments must spend more money in support of athletics instead of arts whereas others would take the reverse. Even though some characterize the sports and olympic as crucial since they believe that they are most beneficial motivation of people. Nevertheless, I firmly of the belief that most of the governments support should spend on arts. The following reasons are going to substantiate my stand-points.
The first fact that holds me this concept is significant impact of life on money-circulation. It can be illustrated that everywhere people hard life situation and low salary, their country is poor on the supporting of arts. The best way to increase people lives is improve their ability to creating impressive arts as like as most of countries did after word-war 2. For example, when I was persuading my family business at the bakery equipment distribution company a few years ago, I realized that our income is realy different at the various season; so, I called on of my genius friends in order to search for it reasons. After a while, he told me one of the huge impact is the art supporting festival occurred in spring month of our hometown. In fact, our customer came to our home town only becuase of the IR paint-festival; hence, they spent too much money to buy things. All of the people took benefits from the festival's money as its happiness which become for our city. Thus, this opportunity would not happen if our home town could not spent much money in the supporting of arts.
Another reason is that arts perfect impacts on young people as the various generations. I read several article about how to increase children mind ability in Iranian science journal three months ago. They analyze the various effects of arts on children minds ability and the future goals; hence, they assume that arts have indifinitely huage impacts on their minds and future careers. On of the articles estimates that approximatily 40 percent of artist childeren become future well-known artist or perfect start-up. I can remember when I was studying power electronics at the Sharif university about ten years ago, I had lot of loves to painting only becuase of I did it in my childhood and it make me happy and increase my positive energy. Therefore, it seems reasonable to assume from this experience that supporting arts from governments are not spending money but it long-lasting coperation.
In conclusion, though some may oppose the concept, arts needs most of the governments aid in order to thrive more and more. Not only becuase of its money-circulation impacts on society, but also becuase of its huage effect on young and childeren's future.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 267, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'improved'.
Suggestion: improved
...he best way to increase people lives is improve their ability to creating impressive ar...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 328, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the countries') or simply say ''most countries''.
Suggestion: most of the countries; most countries
... to creating impressive arts as like as most of countries did after word-war 2. For example, when...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 878, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: All the
...hey spent too much money to buy things. All of the people took benefits from the festivals...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 919, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'festivals'' or 'festival's'?
Suggestion: festivals'; festival's
...ll of the people took benefits from the festivals money as its happiness which become for...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1046, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: 'spend'
Suggestion: spend
...d not happen if our home town could not spent much money in the supporting of arts. ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 97, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun article seems to be countable; consider using: 'several articles'.
Suggestion: several articles
...ople as the various generations. I read several article about how to increase children mind abi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 697, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'makes'?
Suggestion: makes
...uase of I did it in my childhood and it make me happy and increase my positive energ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, if, may, nevertheless, so, therefore, thus, well, whereas, while, for example, in conclusion, in fact
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 54.0 43.0788530466 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 69.0 52.1666666667 132% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2398.0 1977.66487455 121% => OK
No of words: 482.0 407.700716846 118% => OK
Chars per words: 4.97510373444 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68556276237 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85110630862 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 249.0 212.727598566 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.516597510373 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 747.9 618.680645161 121% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.0652253723 48.9658058833 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.0 100.406767564 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.9090909091 20.6045352989 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.72727272727 5.45110844103 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.20910980354 0.236089414692 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0695296774142 0.076458572812 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0681809018161 0.0737576698707 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.136706571081 0.150856017488 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0888491743854 0.0645574589148 138% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 11.7677419355 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 58.1214874552 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.6 10.9000537634 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.15 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 86.8835125448 122% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.