model essay
shut down
The Salton Sea in California is facing a problem that the salinity has been increasing for the rapid evaporation rate. The reading passage has given three solutions while the listening part reveals the leak of them one by one.
The first option is to remove the salt directly from the lake's water by a special desalination facility. However, the professor argues that this method is very likely to cause health problems. As the water in the desalination facilities evaporates, solid materials would be left behind, which contain toxic chemicals, such as selenium. Then, separating would allow these chemicals to be spread by wind, which may pose a threat to people's health.
The second solution is bringing ocean water to the lake to dilute the salt level. The professor finds faults with this method by saying that this solution would be quite unrealistic in consideration that the government may not have enough money to build any pipelines or canals. Moreover, the nearest shoreline is 100 kilometers away, so the construction may cost a lot of money.
The last way is to divide the lake into several sections by building walls. The salinity in smaller sections would increase while in largest sections, by directing fresh water from small rivers, the salinity would be controlled. However, the professor refutes that this measure is just provisional, since the Salton Seas is located in place where the geological activities are frequent and intense. Water from the smaller sections may mix back in the main section so this solution will also fail very soon.
Both the reading passage and the lecture disscuss the increase in salinity of Salton Sea in California and the possible solution to overcome the problem. With this in mind, the writer astates that there are several solutions which can lead to recover the lake's health. On the other hand, the professor contradicts all three episodes of arguments, beliving that none of them are practical.
First, the author points out that remove the salt from the lake's water through desalination equipment would be one way to reduce the amount of the salt in the lake's water. Conversely, the speaker makes it clear that this solution may cause some serious problems, for instance, in order to do this some chemical materials should be added to the water. she continues that, some of these materials are toxic and if it release to air, it could make some health problem for people.
second, the reading selection holds the view that bring water from Pecific ocean and add into the lake is the second solution to reduce the salinity of the lake's water. However, the lecturer explains that this idea need to make a lone way channel because, Pacific ocean is 1000 kilometer far away from lake. Therefore, this idea need a huge financial resources from government which is not reasonable.
Finally, the writing material suggests that divided lake into several different part to control the lake's salinity is another solution to overcome this issue. In this fashion the lake will be seperated by wall. On the other hand, the professor mentions that this solution unlikely to work for long time. some natural events for instance, earthquake can broke the wall and as a result the low salinity water will be mixed with high salinity water. So, she says this solution does not going to work in long run.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 256, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'lakes'' or 'lake's'?
Suggestion: lakes'; lake's
...solutions which can lead to recover the lakes health. On the other hand, the professo...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ing that none of them are practical. First, the author points out that remove...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 352, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: She
...materials should be added to the water. she continues that, some of these materials...
^^^
Line 5, column 416, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'releases'?
Suggestion: releases
... of these materials are toxic and if it release to air, it could make some health probl...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...make some health problem for people. second, the reading selection holds the ...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Second
...some health problem for people. second, the reading selection holds the view t...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 279, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'kilometer' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'kilometers'.
Suggestion: kilometers
... channel because, Pacific ocean is 1000 kilometer far away from lake. Therefore, this ide...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 352, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'resource'?
Suggestion: resource
...refore, this idea need a huge financial resources from government which is not reasonable...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... government which is not reasonable. Finally, the writing material suggests t...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 63, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'several'.
Suggestion: several
...aterial suggests that divided lake into several different part to control the lakes salinity is a...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 101, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'lakes'' or 'lake's'?
Suggestion: lakes'; lake's
...o several different part to control the lakes salinity is another solution to overcom...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 305, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Some
...olution unlikely to work for long time. some natural events for instance, earthquake...
^^^^
Line 13, column 484, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[3]
Message: The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: 'go'
Suggestion: go
...er. So, she says this solution does not going to work in long run.
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
conversely, finally, first, however, if, may, second, so, therefore, for instance, as a result, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 10.4613686534 105% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 5.04856512141 198% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 7.30242825607 68% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 12.0772626932 91% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 22.412803532 112% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 30.3222958057 125% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 5.01324503311 239% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1498.0 1373.03311258 109% => OK
No of words: 304.0 270.72406181 112% => OK
Chars per words: 4.92763157895 5.08290768461 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.17559525986 4.04702891845 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.34032124544 2.5805825403 91% => OK
Unique words: 166.0 145.348785872 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.546052631579 0.540411800872 101% => OK
syllable_count: 469.8 419.366225166 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.55342163355 97% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 3.25607064018 123% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.23620309051 97% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.25165562914 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.51434878587 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 2.5761589404 194% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 13.0662251656 107% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 21.2450331126 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 38.5505234354 49.2860985944 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.0 110.228320801 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.7142857143 21.698381199 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.07142857143 7.06452816374 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 4.19205298013 310% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 4.33554083885 185% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 4.45695364238 90% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.27373068433 47% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.14203507995 0.272083759551 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0549464933563 0.0996497079465 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0693814565998 0.0662205650399 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0982144427095 0.162205337803 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0671705771273 0.0443174109184 152% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 13.3589403974 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 53.8541721854 109% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 11.0289183223 93% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.31 12.2367328918 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.05 8.42419426049 96% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 63.6247240618 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.7273730684 103% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.498013245 99% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.2008830022 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.