TOEFL T P O 46 - Integrated Writing Task

The reading passage explained three advantages for keeping medical information about patients in electronic databases instead of the traditional approach of maintaining paper records. However, in the listening passage, the lecturer challenges these reasons and supports her idea by providing some pieces of evidence.

Firstly, reducing cost by maintaining electronic records is very unlikely in that doctors would still keep the paper documents as a backup or for legal purposes. Consequently, they have to pay for papers and organization supplies and reduced costs wouldn't be significant.

Moreover, the reading claimed that electronic medical records would eliminate errors which might be caused by poor handwriting, improper transcription of data and so on. In the listening, she explained that it is still possible for these errors to occur because often a staff enters the data to the computer not the doctor.

Lastly, the lecturer opposed the argument that electronic records increase availability of data to researchers. She states that these kinds of data are subject to very strict laws and they must obtain permissions to access patients' information including permission from the patient. As a result, electronic records are not necessarily aiding research.

Votes
Average: 0.3 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 249, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
...organization supplies and reduced costs wouldnt be significant. Moreover, the readin...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 254, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...to access patients information including permission from the patient. As a result...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, first, firstly, however, if, lastly, moreover, so, still, as a result

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 10.4613686534 57% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 5.04856512141 79% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 7.30242825607 82% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 12.0772626932 50% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 14.0 22.412803532 62% => OK
Preposition: 22.0 30.3222958057 73% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 5.01324503311 120% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1086.0 1373.03311258 79% => OK
No of words: 191.0 270.72406181 71% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.68586387435 5.08290768461 112% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.71756304063 4.04702891845 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.97005882391 2.5805825403 115% => OK
Unique words: 120.0 145.348785872 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.628272251309 0.540411800872 116% => OK
syllable_count: 333.9 419.366225166 80% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.55342163355 109% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 3.25607064018 92% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.23620309051 49% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.25165562914 80% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.51434878587 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 2.5761589404 78% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 9.0 13.0662251656 69% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 21.2450331126 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 35.4494945897 49.2860985944 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.666666667 110.228320801 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.2222222222 21.698381199 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.22222222222 7.06452816374 131% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 4.19205298013 48% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 4.33554083885 69% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 4.45695364238 90% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.27373068433 47% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0 0.272083759551 0% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0 0.0996497079465 0% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0662205650399 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0 0.162205337803 0% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0443174109184 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.0 13.3589403974 120% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 53.8541721854 77% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 11.0289183223 115% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.72 12.2367328918 128% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.38 8.42419426049 123% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 63.6247240618 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 10.7273730684 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.498013245 99% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.2008830022 116% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.