TOEFL TPO 17 - Integrated Writing Task

Essay topics:

TOEFL TPO 17 - Integrated Writing Task

According to the passage, the high rate of human population growth in the united states may affect the bird's number in a negative way. Three reasons are explained for this fact, none of which is convincing enough.

first, building new structures like apartments and offices may cause a decline in the population of birds due to the lack of sufficient proper traditional places for birds. Nonetheless, it is known that although the new large areas can affect some type of birds inhabitation, it would be suitable for other types such as pigeons.

Second, as the human population is going to be increased, the need of food leads to the more agricultural activity. As a result, more wilderness areas will replaced by agricultural areas, which can decrease bird inhabitants. The point which is missed is that using more reproductivity crops leads to less need of agriculture areas in the united states. Therefore it cannot be considered as a compelling reason to decrease bird population.

Finally, the increase in use of pesticides which may have consequences on birds health, can increase the birds population decline rate. However, a closer observation shows that application of these chemicals is much under control nowadays. first of all, owing to the new developments in these kinds of material, the required amount is much less than before. Moreover, the higher percent of crops are resistant to pestesides and will not affect birds lives. As a result, considering the hzardous chemicals used in agriculture as a reason for decreasing birds population is not as fair as it may seem at first, and new advancements in agriculture science should be considered as well.

Votes
Average: 8.1 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 117, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a negative way" with adverb for "negative"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ited states may affect the birds number in a negative way. Three reasons are explained for this f...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...one of which is convincing enough. first, building new structures like apar...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: First
...which is convincing enough. first, building new structures like apartment...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e for other types such as pigeons. Second, as the human population is going...
^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 157, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'replace'
Suggestion: replace
...As a result, more wilderness areas will replaced by agricultural areas, which can decrea...
^^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 354, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...agriculture areas in the united states. Therefore it cannot be considered as a compelling...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 21, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...eason to decrease bird population. Finally, the increase in use of pesticid...
^^^^^^^
Line 25, column 106, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'birds'' or 'bird's'?
Suggestion: birds'; bird's
...ences on birds health, can increase the birds population decline rate. However, a clo...
^^^^^
Line 25, column 241, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: First
...emicals is much under control nowadays. first of all, owing to the new developments i...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, however, may, moreover, nonetheless, second, so, therefore, well, such as, as a result, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 10.4613686534 134% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 5.04856512141 277% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 3.0 7.30242825607 41% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 12.0772626932 58% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 10.0 22.412803532 45% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 30.3222958057 115% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 5.01324503311 199% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1428.0 1373.03311258 104% => OK
No of words: 274.0 270.72406181 101% => OK
Chars per words: 5.21167883212 5.08290768461 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.0685311056 4.04702891845 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95355382662 2.5805825403 114% => OK
Unique words: 148.0 145.348785872 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.540145985401 0.540411800872 100% => OK
syllable_count: 441.0 419.366225166 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.55342163355 103% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 3.25607064018 61% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.23620309051 85% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 1.25165562914 240% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.51434878587 66% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 2.5761589404 116% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 13.0662251656 99% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 21.2450331126 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.9976642073 49.2860985944 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.846153846 110.228320801 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0769230769 21.698381199 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.92307692308 7.06452816374 126% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 4.19205298013 215% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 4.33554083885 185% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 4.45695364238 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.27373068433 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.437389400346 0.272083759551 161% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.148995094752 0.0996497079465 150% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0928119987928 0.0662205650399 140% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.250641923313 0.162205337803 155% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0826846145303 0.0443174109184 187% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 13.3589403974 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 53.8541721854 93% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 5.55761589404 202% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 11.0289183223 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 12.2367328918 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.71 8.42419426049 103% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 63.6247240618 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.7273730684 103% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.498013245 99% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.2008830022 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 81.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.