TPO-20 - Integrated Writing Task

Graduation with high major is considered one of the most important aspects in our lives. Students can start their practical life after their graduation, which is mean that they will start their independent life. I am sure that some people would believe that attending college for just few years is a great idea, while other would disagree. However, when it comes to me I totally agree that it is much better for students to join college just for few years. I feel this way for two important reasons, which I will demonstrate in the following essay.

To begin with, attending college for few years help students to relieve their stress, which can affect their normal life. Nowadays, students are struggling with many assignments and many academic courses. Moreover, they have to pay for their loans after their graduation for long time. For example, my brother's experience is a great compelling example. My brother is a medical school students and he spent seven years at school to get his high major. In fact, he has a huge burden loan on his shoulders. Moreover, he got a job at a clinic for just few hundreds dollars every week. Furthermore, he has to pay like ten percent from his limited budget to cover his loan. Also, he could not buy a house and he still use the public transportation because he can not afforded it. On the other hand, my little sister she attended the school for just few months and after her graduation, she would able to start her practical life and she owned private house after couple of years. This experience taught me that people can get ride from the burden of loans and they can enjoy their life via attending college for short period.

In addition, students can start their work after attending college for few years and complete their high major in the same time. Many students can attend online classes after work and they can get high score by the end of the year. For instance, my cousin's experience is a great example of this. My cousin loves animal and his dream to be a doctor i n the future. In fact, he attended college to be a nurse for eight month and he graduated. I can tell that after his graduation he got opportunity ti work at a clinic with a famous doctor at New York hospital. Furthermore, during his practice as a nurse he got tremendous experience in different fields and he would able to check a lot of animals. In the same time, he started to attend online classes after work to complete his studying trip. Consequently, after three year he would able to graduate with a master degree and he achieved his target that he always dreamed of. Nevertheless, if he did not get the experience through his work as a nurse, he would not be able to be a successful student at his college. As you can see, students can feel independent person and they can start work as soon as they can and in the same time they can take classes at night after work.

In sum, I totally believe that students should attend college for short time to start their practical life. This is because attending college for few years can help student get a away from the burden of a huge loan, and because they can get experience quickly and complete their high major in the same time.

Votes
Average: 0.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
Essays by the user:

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 713, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[3]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'uses'.
Suggestion: uses
..., he could not buy a house and he still use the public transportation because he ca...
^^^
Line 3, column 762, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'afford'
Suggestion: afford
...ublic transportation because he can not afforded it. On the other hand, my little sister...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 418, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'month' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'months'.
Suggestion: months
...ttended college to be a nurse for eight month and he graduated. I can tell that after...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 178, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...lege for few years can help student get a away from the burden of a huge loan, an...
^
Line 7, column 293, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...quickly and complete their high major in the same time.
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, consequently, furthermore, however, if, moreover, nevertheless, so, still, while, as to, for example, for instance, i feel, in addition, in fact, to begin with, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 10.4613686534 124% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 26.0 5.04856512141 515% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 16.0 7.30242825607 219% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 12.0 12.0772626932 99% => OK
Pronoun: 85.0 22.412803532 379% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 66.0 30.3222958057 218% => Less preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 14.0 5.01324503311 279% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2638.0 1373.03311258 192% => OK
No of words: 578.0 270.72406181 214% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.56401384083 5.08290768461 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.90322654589 4.04702891845 121% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42942553946 2.5805825403 94% => OK
Unique words: 237.0 145.348785872 163% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.410034602076 0.540411800872 76% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 802.8 419.366225166 191% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.55342163355 90% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 20.0 3.25607064018 614% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 0.0 8.23620309051 0% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 1.25165562914 399% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.51434878587 66% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 2.5761589404 349% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 13.0662251656 222% => Too many sentences.
Sentence length: 19.0 21.2450331126 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 36.1964188452 49.2860985944 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.9655172414 110.228320801 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.9310344828 21.698381199 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.34482758621 7.06452816374 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 4.19205298013 119% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 4.33554083885 323% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 4.45695364238 67% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.27373068433 281% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0719832988665 0.272083759551 26% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0290759199128 0.0996497079465 29% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.017421467886 0.0662205650399 26% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0612594457137 0.162205337803 38% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0183798577139 0.0443174109184 41% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.0 13.3589403974 75% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 53.8541721854 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 11.0289183223 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.17 12.2367328918 75% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.76 8.42419426049 80% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 63.6247240618 126% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.7273730684 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.498013245 91% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.2008830022 89% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Write the essay in 20 minutes.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.