tpo 29 question 1 integrated task writing section

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tpo 29 question 1 integrated task writing section

The reading and the lecture give information about Edmontosaurus. While the reading supports the migration hypotheses, the lecture refutes all the hypotheses mention in the reading material and provides three reasons to illustrates why those hypothesis are not convincing.

First, the professor mentions that there is no reason for the edmontosaurus to imigrate south to a warmer ares. He explain thatthe North Slop was warmer in the past. With a plantafull of sun and warmer tempreture, edmontosaurus could servive and feed on aboundant vegetations. Even though the plants die during the winter time, edmontosaurus could feed and servive on dead plant. That disagree with the reading indicated that the edmontosaurus have to immigrate to dearch for food.

Second, contrary to the believe in the reading passage that living in herds is another support to the immigration hypotheses, the lecture explains that living in herds does not particularly support the migration hypothesis. The professor explains that seeking protection from predators is another reasnable reason why animals live in herds. He also give an example of Elks to better illustrate his point. He mentions that Elks live in herds in the same place without migrations. Thus, this disagrees with the migration hypothesis suggested in the reading.

Finally, the authour mentions that edmontosaurus have the the power and speed required to travel for a long distance and another evidence to support the imgration hypotheses. In contrast, the speaker refutes that all the edmontasourus have the same skills. In other word, jouvenile edmontasourus are not yet capable to imgrate and travel for a vast distance. As result, the whole herds can not leave the jouvenile edmontosaurus behind and they have to stay and servive the north slope weather. That was another point where the lecture disagrees with the point mentions in the reading passage.

Overall, it seems that the lecture showed that there are some discrepancies in the points illustrated in the reading passage.

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2016-06-16 nagy 70 view
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the lecture refutes all the hypotheses mention in the reading material
the lecture refutes all the hypotheses which mention in the reading material

Sentence: Finally, the authour mentions that edmontosaurus have the the power and speed required to travel for a long distance and another evidence to support the imgration hypotheses.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by an article
Suggestion: Refer to the and the

Sentence: First, the professor mentions that there is no reason for the edmontosaurus to imigrate south to a warmer ares.
Error: ares Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: imigrate Suggestion: migrate

Sentence: He explain thatthe North Slop was warmer in the past.
Error: thatthe Suggestion: that the

Sentence: With a plantafull of sun and warmer tempreture, edmontosaurus could servive and feed on aboundant vegetations.
Error: plantafull Suggestion: plant full
Error: tempreture Suggestion: temperature
Error: servive Suggestion: service
Error: aboundant Suggestion: abundant

Sentence: Even though the plants die during the winter time, edmontosaurus could feed and servive on dead plant.
Error: servive Suggestion: service

Sentence: That disagree with the reading indicated that the edmontosaurus have to immigrate to dearch for food.
Error: dearch Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: The professor explains that seeking protection from predators is another reasnable reason why animals live in herds.
Error: reasnable Suggestion: reasonable

Sentence: Finally, the authour mentions that edmontosaurus have the the power and speed required to travel for a long distance and another evidence to support the imgration hypotheses.
Error: authour Suggestion: author
Error: imgration Suggestion: migration

Sentence: In other word, jouvenile edmontasourus are not yet capable to imgrate and travel for a vast distance.
Error: jouvenile Suggestion: juvenile
Error: imgrate Suggestion: migrate

Sentence: As result, the whole herds can not leave the jouvenile edmontosaurus behind and they have to stay and servive the north slope weather.
Error: jouvenile Suggestion: juvenile
Error: servive Suggestion: service

flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 15 2

No. of Words: 320 250
Write the essay in 20 minutes.

better to have 4 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3

--------------------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 15 2
No. of Sentences: 18 12
No. of Words: 320 250
No. of Characters: 1680 1200
No. of Different Words: 156 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.229 4.2
Average Word Length: 5.25 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.815 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 127 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 106 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.778 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.688 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.389 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.333 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.556 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.13 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 4