TPO 45 Integrated Writing Task

Fossil structures with age of 200 million years found in the state of arizona with a bee nest resemblance brought up the idea that bees could have existed for two hundred million years. While the passage disapproves this opinion, the lecture believes that statements which were pointed out in the passage were not convincing.

To begin with, the passage claims that there were no fossils os actual bees found which belonged to that era. Although, the lecture refutes this statement by suggesting that the reason is because trees which produced resin were rare then so, bees could not be preserved. To conclude, finding no fossil doesn't prove that bees could not have existed.

Secondly, the passage suggests that because bees feed on flowering plants, absence of this kind of plant in that period shows that they could not survive in that environment.
However, the lecture refutes this claim and says that they could have had a different diet like pine trees and adapted to their new diet later.

At last, the passage states that fossils found have differences in some pattern shapes and details. the lecturer on the other hand, claims that there are some chemical evidence showing that actual bees have made the nest. For example, the water proof substance used in modern bee nests are the same as the one found in the fossil.

All in all, the passage believes that bees could have 200 million year age. The lecture however, believes otherwise.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

flaws:
Number of Paragraphs: 5 4
better to have 4 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 11 12
No. of Words: 246 250
No. of Characters: 1172 1200
No. of Different Words: 135 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.96 4.2
Average Word Length: 4.764 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.145 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 75 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 62 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 26 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 14 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.364 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.783 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.411 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.688 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.089 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 4