TPO 46 Integrated Writing Task In the United States medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms However there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which form

While the passage believes that adopting electronic medical record systems instead of recording it in paper forms has many advantages, the lecture refutes this idea by giving reasons to support this matter.

To begin with, the passage states that electronic databases will lead to less costs for hospitals and need less storage space. However, the lecture disapproves by stating that doctors that use electronic databases tend to keep paper record as back up files. in conclusion, this will not only be cost efficient, it will not save any storage space.

Secondly, the passage claims that computerized recordings are essential for preventing errors. The lectures disapproves by stating that if doctors still use pen while examining, the staff who enter data in computer might make mistake or cause errors due to doctor's poor hand writing.

As well as that, the passage suggests that if data is recorded electronically, researches will have access to a broad set of information.Adding that being able to draw out information easily and from any location makes it practical. Though the lecture diagrees, stating that these information are restricted and can not be accessed.

All in all, the passage believes this kind of storing data is efficient and useful, while the lecture believes otherwise.

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Average: 9 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

flaws:
Number of Paragraphs: 5 4
better to have 4 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 8 12
No. of Words: 208 250
No. of Characters: 1065 1200
No. of Different Words: 129 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.798 4.2
Average Word Length: 5.12 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.598 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 78 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 65 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 39 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.618 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.875 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.425 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.786 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.056 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 4