tpo 21 task2 - sohrab
Many people all around the world believe that for success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. They believe that people must learn important abilities with the studying and they must pay attention to those abilities. On the other hand, there are some group of people who believe that for the success in a future job, it is more important to study hard in school than the ability to relate well to people. While I believe in ability to relate well to people, I agree with the second group because of some reasons.
First of all, studying in the school is the our must important duty; to explain more, we should study hard and get good marks in order to have better job opportunities than other people who are not in the school. For example, imagine that you do not have good marks in your school; as a result, you are not able to go to a well-known and highly ranked university, and, moreover, you have two options, first you can go and find some low level works; second you can go to low level institute and after that, find a low level job. In conclusion, it is very important for people who want to reach to high rank universities to study hard in their school time.
In addition, people who study hard in their school time, they are more powerful people in their job as a result because they are trained for hard situations. For example, someone who is working as a manager in a big company, he, as a result, should be able to manage emergency cases and it is related to his or her experiences which mainly of them are collected in school and expertise have shown that the top students, who study harder than other are more trained in collecting needed experiences.
Finally, I believe that some jobs are not in contact with so many people. For example, majority of computer or smart phone's software developers are working for their own; to explain more, they works in individual groups and are not a member of an organization; however they are working on individual application marketing. As a result, it is not needed for them to be in touch with many people; in contrast, they need to be well trained on their field, and this ability comes from their educational backgrounds in the school and university.
Overall, I believe that for success in a future job, studying hard in the school and university is most important factor because of the reasons that I mentioned above.
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and it is related to his or her experiences which mainly of them are collected in school
and it is related to his or her experiences which mainly are collected in school
they works in individual groups
they work in individual groups
is most important factor
is the most important factor
flaws:
No. of Words: 440 while No. of Different Words: 167
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 440 350
No. of Characters: 1954 1500
No. of Different Words: 167 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.58 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.441 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.369 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 133 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 45 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 33.846 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.12 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.846 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.431 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.677 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.193 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5