Some people say that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that students who show the biggest improvements should be rewarded. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, public debate has been going on over whether schools should reward the best students or those who have the biggest improvements. While supporting pupils who show the best academic results is a good thing, I am convinced that helping out strong-determined students is the best initiative. Stated in this way the argument that schools should only reward young person who show the best academic results fails to mention several key factors, on the basis of which it could be evaluated. Hence, the argument is unconvincing and has several flaws.
First, some people readily assume that primary school ought to give support only to straight-A students and whizz kids by rewarding them. As far I am concerned, I think it is reasonable due to the fact that schools have the oppurtunity to recompense those who deserve it. Obviously, it is normal that graduates who represent the school and favour an emulation in the class are supported !
But I am convinced that they are not necessarily those who deserve it the most. I am stretching the argument a bit here : schools will honour some of the youths who are resting on their laurels, even if they are brilliant. On the contrary, those who are working hard but don’t have immediate results are not elevated. That is why it is arguable that graduates with a lot of willingness should be dismissed too, which suggests that all students who are taking part in the healthy competition and are of a good disposition. If the argument had provided evidence that both students who are the best and have the wish to progress should be rewarding, then the argument would have been a lot more convincing.
Finally, without improvements to this argument, one is left with the impression that the claim of rewarding only the best is more of a wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence.
In conclusion, the argument that helping out only whizz kids is flawed for the above-mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. It could be considerably strengthened if we reward students who are hard working to encourage them but also bright students. In order to assess the merits of a certain situation, it is essential to have full knowledge of all contributing factors. Without this information, the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.
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- Many young people find it difficult to get a job nowadays. People should be made to retire from work when they reach 55 to give younger people a chance.To what extent do you agree or disagree ? 70
- Some people say that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that students who show the biggest improvements should be rewarded. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. 80
Sentence: As far I am concerned, I think it is reasonable due to the fact that schools have the oppurtunity to recompense those who deserve it.
Error: oppurtunity Suggestion: opportunity
Sentence: In conclusion, the argument that helping out only whizz kids is flawed for the above-mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing.
Error: whizz Suggestion: whiz
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.5 out of 9
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 384 350
No. of Characters: 1875 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.427 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.883 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.826 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 74 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.588 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.333 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.647 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.347 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.529 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.112 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5