ESSAY TOPIC - A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college.
ESSAY INSTRUCTIONS - Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
Statement says that a nation should require all of its student to study the same national curriculum until they enter college, I disagree with the statement that this national curriculum logic creates same knowledge type of student, and also it limits us to learn different and new things.
When we look at the education system of the most powerful countries, there is highly competitive situation for student, teacher and parents. Students study, teacher teach, and parents support their children in this fast pace. All of this effort for getting admission from their desire college, when we look at that they all repeat same loops over and over, because they get their education from the national curriculum which is same education in everywhere, so your compotators know what you know, it is so unfair, As we are student we should have an right to choose different education type from the variety of curriculums otherwise we will all be same student.
Moreover, when we thought same curriculum, it is not only create same type of generation but also it creates an issue between countries as well. When we try to join an abroad education programs, we will be requires to take an universal exams. Nevertheless some countries' curriculum is not enough to educate their student for abroad program, on the other hand some countries' education system is much more advance than from abroad education system. There is always confliction in education, to reduce this rate, nations should require more than one specific curriculum. In my country, my generation was prepared for being an Engineer or Doctor, even so there was no option to chose any another curriculum that we want to be an fashion designer or musician .It is the most embracing things for us when we look back. We were not able to chose what we want, instead we were forced to chose same curriculum with all student, like a robot.
In contrast, some people may think that, if there are more than one curriculum it may crate an conflict between students especially while they try to choose their college. However, if we want to create more intelligent system for our smarter student, we should break our boundries. National curriculum not only creates same type of student, but also it creates lazy and sluggish teacher also. They will never change their teaching style, and books and notes. In this era, we definitely need teachers who are renew their information timely, and also teacher should get required test and education to keep their mind update as well.
In conclusion, students needs to get diferrent type of curriculums according to their desire, this would be most adventegous thing for nations if they one to do at least one thing for their student.
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Sentence: In my country, my generation was prepared for being an Engineer or Doctor, even so there was no option to chose any another curriculum that we want to be an fashion designer or musician .
Description: The word any is not usually used as an adverb
Suggestion: Refer to any another
Sentence: In this era, we definitely need teachers who are renew their information timely, and also teacher should get required test and education to keep their mind update as well.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by a determiner, possessive
Suggestion: Refer to renew and their
Sentence: In conclusion, students needs to get diferrent type of curriculums according to their desire, this would be most adventegous thing for nations if they one to do at least one thing for their student.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a pronoun, nominal
Suggestion: Refer to they and one
Sentence: All of this effort for getting admission from their desire college, when we look at that they all repeat same loops over and over, because they get their education from the national curriculum which is same education in everywhere, so your compotators know what you know, it is so unfair, As we are student we should have an right to choose different education type from the variety of curriculums otherwise we will all be same student.
Error: compotators Suggestion: competitors
Sentence: There is always confliction in education, to reduce this rate, nations should require more than one specific curriculum.
Error: confliction Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: In conclusion, students needs to get diferrent type of curriculums according to their desire, this would be most adventegous thing for nations if they one to do at least one thing for their student.
Error: diferrent Suggestion: different
Error: adventegous Suggestion: adventurous
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
Don't put a space before punctuation marks.
Put a space after punctuation marks. E-rater is sensitive.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 459 350
No. of Characters: 2209 1500
No. of Different Words: 212 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.629 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.813 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.473 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 154 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 118 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.688 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.913 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.688 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.37 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.571 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.19 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5