The graph below shows Burnaby Public library

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The graph below shows....Burnaby Public library

Between 2011 and 2014, the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library which has illustrated by the graph.

Over the period, the entire number of books read by men and women increased. The number of women steadily increased over given periods while the number of books read by men increased for a year then skyrocketed for next 2 years. The number of books read by men was lower than women but this figure opposed in 2014.

There was a steady increase in the number of books read by women from about 5000 to about 10000 between 2011 and 2013 respectively. From 2013, the number of books read fall slightly to reach approximately 8000.

The number of books read by men was lower than women by almost 2000 in 2011. Then this number rose to 10000 books in 2013. In 2013, the number of books read by women and men reached the same amount of 10000. From 2014, the number of books read by men rose more than women by 6000.

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the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library which has illustrated by the graph.
the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library has illustrated by the graph.

but this figure opposed in 2014.
but this figure is opposed in 2014.

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Different Words: 73 100

read a sample:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-writing-task-i-essays/graph-below-shows-nu…

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 10
No. of Words: 175 200
No. of Characters: 744 1000
No. of Different Words: 73 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.637 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.251 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.007 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 35 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 17 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 10 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 7 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.258 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.3 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.649 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.784 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.361 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4

Submitted by YS89 on Wed, 09/02/2015 - 00:52

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The provided line graphs compare the number of books read by men and women from 2011 to 2014, which surveyed at Burnaby Public Library. As is observed from the given illustration, significant changes have been made in the number of books read by men and women appear to have made remarkable plunged in almost 40% by 2014 according to the Burnaby Public Library and from 2013, men went well ahead of women for the reading books.

Initially in 2011, women were notably ahead of men for the number of read books. For example, about 3000 books read by men against about 5000 books read by women. Two years later, though the number of books read by women showed steadily improved, the number of books read by men rose over 7000 books.

Women also made their steadily reading habits from 2011 to 2013. Where 5000 books read by women in 2011, this number increased to 10,000 by 2013. The number of books read by men grew marginally from 3000 books to 10000 books over the same period. The number of books read by women then dropped slightly to reach the same number as the figure in 2012 (of 8000 books). From 2013, the number of books read by men skyrocketed to go beyond the number of books read by women. This figure was 14000 books for men and 8000 books for women.

read by men and women from 2011 to 2014, which surveyed at Burnaby Public Library.
read by men and women from 2011 to 2014, which is surveyed at Burnaby Public Library.
read by men and women from 2011 to 2014 surveyed at Burnaby Public Library.

significant changes have been made in the number of books read by men and women appear to have made remarkable plunged in almost 40% by 2014
significant changes have been made in the number of books read by men, and women appear to have made remarkable plunge in almost 40% by 2014

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better this time. But you have grammatical issues.