Many people believe that it is very important to make large amount of money while others are satisfied to earn a comfortable living. Analyze each point and take a stand. Give specific reasons for your position.
Have you ever heard about the statement " Money can not buy everything"? I believe this statement is true. Nowadays, for many basic essentials of life are not just food, water, shelter, and medicine. For many people, money has became one of the most essential elements. Some people spend a lot of their time working in order to earn a great amount of money as much as they can, but others are satisfied to earn a comfortable living. Earning a lot of money and maintaining a comfortable life both have advantages and disadvantages. Even though money is important, I believe that money can not buy everything.I personally prefer earn a comfortable living rather than having a lot of money.
To begin with, there are many advantages of having a significant amount of money. Because the cost of living is increasing every year, earning a significant amount of money can provide people with financial security. Wealthy people can afford to buy many things such as expensive cars, exotic foods, big houses, and many luxuries. These people seem to believe that those materials can bring good quality of life. Therefore, many people decide to work very hard and put themselves into stressful situations in order to earn large amounts of money. On the other hand, having a lot of money does not assure more happiness. For example, Thich Nach Hanh, the well known Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk, does not have much money compared to wealthy people, but he seems happier and more peaceful than those who are busy making more and more money. His example proves to me that happiness does not depend on how much money we have.
On the other hand, others who are satisfied with earning a comfortable living seem to have more time to do enjoyable things and have a balanced life. Those people who are not into excess money do not have to go through stressful situations and the expectation of making large amounts of money. However, a person who is maintaining a comfortable living may not have extra money which may cause financial insecurity. For example, my husband is the only worker in my family while I try to finish my degree. During this time we do not have much money for extra expenses. However, we both have agreed to not overwork, keep our needs to a minimum, and spend time doing other things together that are low cost and that we both interested in. Event though, we have to be careful with our expenses, we feel more free and enjoy living comfortable live.
In summary, I absolutely agree that money is an essential element for living, but it should not become an obsession. Happiness and peace are more important for human beings, and people should enjoy living their lives. Working and earning reasonable amount of money that are sufficient for one's family needs is better than spending a lot of time working and being unhealthy in order to make excessive amounts of money.
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money has became one of the most essential elements
money has become one of the most essential elements
flaws:
'On the other hand' means 'However'. It doesn't mean 'On another hand'. Be sensitive to sue 'on the other hand' and 'however'. One time is enough for one essay. look:
On the other hand, having a lot of money does not assure more happiness.
On the other hand, others who are satisfied with earning a comfortable
However, a person who is maintaining a comfortable living may not have extra money
However, we both have agreed to not overwork,
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 498 350
No. of Characters: 2317 1500
No. of Different Words: 221 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.724 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.653 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.414 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 152 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.154 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.342 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.423 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.469 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.155 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5