The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The writer of the memo has proposed to build new dormitories for students. The argument for this position is based on the lacking of dormitory space which Buckingham will face the following years because of growing and current trends. While this argument seems convincing on first glance, there are significant underlying flaws that rise doubt about the author’s conclusion.
The author states about to build more dormitories due to the growing of the college and the current trends. However, it is not specified what are the sort of trends. If the college is providing courses which are under immediately demand for the city, it would be a piece of evidence. For example, in his first year the student would work and study at the same time because a company is offering a high salary for sophomores. But, if the college is improving the installations, it would not be an evidence. For example, they are changing the computers, the old ones for new ones of better quality. Or, they are enhancing the classroom. They are making the sittings to become more comfortable.
There may be students who can afford expensive apartments. Besides, they are looking for comfort and do not care about money. On the word hand, some student do not care about comfort and share the apartment with others becoming cheap the rent for everybody. Others , otherwise, would rather live alone in a house far from the college where the rent is cheaper.
Finally, what would make students to enroll at Buckingham would not be new dormitories. Instead, it would be new course offer by Buckingham. Similarly, it would be more laboratories with more equipments. A big library with many books would be another factor. And, a lower tuition offered by Buckingham.
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argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not exactly
argument 3 -- OK
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http://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/following-appeared-…
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flaws:
No. of Words: 292 350
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
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No. of Words: 292 350
No. of Characters: 1401 1500
No. of Different Words: 164 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.134 4.7
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Sentence Length SD: 6.061 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.284 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.485 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.092 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5