Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In this modern era people start to realize about the important of being healthy. Because of that the ideas of improving public health is becoming popular. There are some people who argue that by increasing sports facilities is the best way to improve public health. But not all people agree with that statement, some opponent of that statement argue that sports facilities are not the exact solution to improve public health.
People who disagree with the statement say that adding sports facilities does not have big impact for improving public health. Because public health is not only about sport facilities, but it also about the improvement of other health sectors such as hospital, pharmacy and easy health access. So despite of spending much money to add sports facilities, it is better to use the money to maximize the public health that already exist. Moreover, not all people can use all sports facilities, there only be some people who have talent and ability to use them that will be dominate the facilities.
In the other hand people who agree to increase the number of sports facilities believe that this is the best way to improve public health. By providing public health people who do not have some interest in sport will get some motivation to do it because of the facilities that have been provided. Sports facilities will also make people realize to start keeping their body healthy. By doing that people will start to change their mind set to not only want to heal their body when they are sick, but they also have to prevent their body of getting sick by exercise their body by doing some sport.
In sum up, increasing the number of sports facilities to improve public health will have some advantages and disadvantages. But by providing some sport facilities for people will become a good service to keep people health. This kind of public health service also has to have other measures to complete other public health sectors.
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Comments
The score i got is 20 of 9,
The score i got is 20 of 9, what is that mean? Can you explain about that?
Sorry, a print error. It
Sorry, a print error. It should be:
Score: 6.0 out of 9
who argue that by increasing sports facilities is the best way
who argue that increasing sports facilities is the best way
that will be dominate the facilities.
that will dominate the facilities.
Definitions of dominate
verb
have a commanding influence on; exercise control over.
the company dominates the market for operating system software
synonyms: control, influence, exercise control over, command, be in command of, be in charge of
In the other hand
On the other hand
people will start to change their mind set to not only want to heal their body when they are sick, but they also have to prevent their body
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?
Sentence: But by providing some sport facilities for people will become a good service to keep people health.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and health
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Different Words: 133 200
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 333 350
No. of Characters: 1592 1500
No. of Different Words: 133 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.272 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.781 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.261 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 120 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 65 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 42 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.476 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.533 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.443 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.593 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.164 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5