Milk and dairy products are rich in vitamin D and calcium—substances essential for building and maintaining bones. Many people therefore say that a diet rich in dairy products can help prevent osteoporosis, a disease that is linked to both environmental and genetic factors and that causes the bones to weaken significantly with age. But a long-term study of a large number of people found that those who consistently consumed dairy products throughout the years of the study have a higher rate of bone fractures than any other participants in the study. Since bone fractures are symptomatic of osteoporosis, this study result shows that a diet rich in dairy products may actually increase, rather than decrease, the risk of osteoporosis.
The author claims here that milk and dairy products do not prevent the osteoporosis but increase the risk of osteoporosis. The argument fails to mention several key factors, on the basis of which it could be evaluated. To justify this conclusion author mentions a study that results says that on long term the people who consumes dairy product and milk have seen to be higher rate of fracture than those who didn't. However careful scrutiny of the evidence reveals that it provides little credible support for the author's claim. Hence the argument can be considered incomplete or unsubstantiated.
First of all, argument readily assumes that milk and dairy product is maintaining and building of bones because its rich in vitamin-D. This is nearly an assumption made without solid ground. For example, How vitamin-D is helpful in building bone?; and on what age group result is proved?. Hence the argument would be more convincing if it explicitly stated answer of above questions.
The argument readily claims that people who consistently consumed milk and dairy product have seen to be have higher rate of bone fracture. This again is a weak and unsupported claim as it does not demonstrate any correct correlation between consumer of dairy product and having higher rate of bone fracture. The argument above stated the cause of osteoporosis that include both environmental and genetic factors. So, this result of higher bone fracture is effect of milk products or of it other factors. If the argument have provided this result with certain more information about the study then it would have been lot more convincing to readers.
Finally, the author states that bone fracture is symptoms of osteoporosis so milk must have increased the risk of it. However it provide little support for the author's conclusion in several critical respects, and raises skeptical questions. For example, bone fracture can be the symptoms of external injury, also bone fracture can be due to effect of other drugs people have take it. Without convincing answers to these questions, the reader is left with the impression that the claim made by the author are more of a wishful thinking rather than substantive thinking.
In conclusion, the author's argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster it further, the author must provide clear concrete evidence, perhaps by way of a reliable survey of milk product and its effect on osteoporosis or reasons behind the osteoporosis. Finally, to better evaluate the argument, it would be necessary to know more information about the osteoporosis and the effect of consuming milk and dairy product.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 409, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
... higher rate of fracture than those who didnt. However careful scrutiny of the eviden...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 529, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...credible support for the authors claim. Hence the argument can be considered incomple...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 270, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...in building bone?; and on what age group result is proved?. Hence the argument wo...
^^
Line 3, column 291, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...d on what age group result is proved?. Hence the argument would be more convincing i...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 506, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...f milk products or of it other factors. If the argument have provided this result ...
^^
Line 7, column 119, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...ilk must have increased the risk of it. However it provide little support for the autho...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 130, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'provides'?
Suggestion: provides
...ve increased the risk of it. However it provide little support for the authors conclusi...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 161, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...wever it provide little support for the authors conclusion in several critical respects...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 376, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'taken'.
Suggestion: taken
...ue to effect of other drugs people have take it. Without convincing answers to these...
^^^^
Line 9, column 20, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...tantive thinking. In conclusion, the authors argument is unpersuasive as it stands. ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 224, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...roduct and its effect on osteoporosis or reasons behind the osteoporosis. Finally...
^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'finally', 'first', 'hence', 'however', 'if', 'so', 'then', 'for example', 'in conclusion', 'first of all']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.268240343348 0.25644967241 105% => OK
Verbs: 0.154506437768 0.15541462614 99% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0987124463519 0.0836205057962 118% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0536480686695 0.0520304965353 103% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0300429184549 0.0272364105082 110% => OK
Prepositions: 0.124463519313 0.125424944231 99% => OK
Participles: 0.0343347639485 0.0416121511921 83% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.74582218642 2.79052419416 98% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0214592274678 0.026700313972 80% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.001811407834 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0965665236052 0.113004496875 85% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.019313304721 0.0255425247493 76% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0150214592275 0.0127820249294 118% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2632.0 2731.13054187 96% => OK
No of words: 428.0 446.07635468 96% => OK
Chars per words: 6.14953271028 6.12365571057 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.548423998 4.57801047555 99% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.39953271028 0.378187486979 106% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.310747663551 0.287650121315 108% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.21261682243 0.208842608468 102% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.105140186916 0.135150697306 78% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74582218642 2.79052419416 98% => OK
Unique words: 198.0 207.018472906 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.46261682243 0.469332199767 99% => OK
Word variations: 50.5953388983 52.1807786196 97% => OK
How many sentences: 22.0 20.039408867 110% => OK
Sentence length: 19.4545454545 23.2022227129 84% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.2940960191 57.7814097925 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.636363636 141.986410481 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.4545454545 23.2022227129 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.545454545455 0.724660767414 75% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 3.58251231527 307% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 50.5293118097 51.9672348444 97% => OK
Elegance: 1.79279279279 1.8405768891 97% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.240368148508 0.441005458295 55% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0833244403067 0.135418324435 62% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0637348327257 0.0829849096947 77% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.524973024683 0.58762219726 89% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.132529906941 0.147661913831 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.104055510071 0.193483328276 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0833577785313 0.0970749176394 86% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.386834396927 0.42659136922 91% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0954936398807 0.0774707102158 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.182916491209 0.312017818177 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0602373462787 0.0698173142475 86% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.33743842365 120% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.87684729064 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.82512315271 83% => OK
Positive topic words: 9.0 6.46551724138 139% => OK
Negative topic words: 8.0 5.36822660099 149% => OK
Neutral topic words: 3.0 2.82389162562 106% => OK
Total topic words: 20.0 14.657635468 136% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.