36. The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. This shows that eating a substantial amount of fish can clearly prevent colds. Furthermore, since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, attendance levels will improve. Therefore, we recommend the daily use of a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
In the above statement, the author contends that every day consumption of fish will prevent cold and lessens absents in school and work place in West Meria. While supporting the argument, however, the author makes numerous assumptions which cannot be taken for granted. Thus, the argument remains largely unconvincing without further evidence to verify unjustified assumptions.
Firstly, the author assumes that what East Meria's students and workers experience could be applied to West Meria's people. However, this may not be the case. East Meria people could enjoy large amount of fish due to a nearby sea that has substantial fish for consumption. Or East Meria people might have viewed fish as their main source of food and are accustomed to eating it everyday. On the other hand, West Meria's citizen in schools and workplaces could have a poor accessibility to fish to enjoy it every day. Moreover, since they could have not been enjoying fish for a long time, they might have repulsion for fish even though they knew that eating fish is good for their health. In addition, the fact that the East Meria people do not suffer frequently from cold was shown by the low visits to the doctors. However, East Meria people could have a good home treatment for the cold. Further evidence pertaining to whether people in East Meria and West Meria is experiencing the same environment should be needed to support the claim.
Secondly, eating fish is the main reason for low absenteeism is not conclusively proven. The author presumes that East Meria's fish consumption is the reason for low number of absents in schools and workplaces. However, East Meria could be enjoying other substances such as vitamin supplements, other kinds of food or do more workouts. Or, West Meria people could have been eating a source of food that has the exact same nutrients from fish. As such, more detailed data needs to be considered whether eating fish cures the problem of low absenteeism.
Lastly, the ramification that the author gives as a response to the survey has low validity. People gave out the response as a reason for absent to be cold. However, we do not know whether that is really the truth. They might have suffered from other illness but was lazy to explain their symptoms and just responded as cold. In addition, we do not know which part of the school and workplaces of people answered the survey. It could have been people from other country or other states that does not guarantee the same answers from the people in West Meria. Therefore, it is necessary to consider evidence about whether the survery is valid to the West Meria should be provided.
In sum, the author's claim is not very well supported in its current form. Further evidence pertaining to the applicability of the East Meria people to the West Meria, other reasons for low absenteeism in East Meria, and the validity of the survey is crucial in determining the validity of the claim.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-10-18 | sakshee | 72 | view |
| 2019-08-30 | Dona Shin | 72 | view |
| 2019-03-26 | AMARDEEP KOUR GEDHU | 72 | view |
| 2019-03-10 | Clark Jones | 65 | view |
| 2018-10-29 | helpwithAWA | 35 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: Therefore, it is necessary to consider evidence about whether the survery is valid to the West Meria should be provided.
Error: survery Suggestion: survey
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argument 1 -- not exactly. it is 'in nearby East Meria, '
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not exactly
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Let's analyze the structure of the statement and argue accordingly:
condition 1:
A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. This shows that eating a substantial amount of fish can clearly prevent colds. //your argument 2. maybe there is no causation for the eating fish and less visits
condition 2:
Furthermore, since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, attendance levels will improve. //your argument 3. maybe there is no direct relation between colds and attendance levels
conclusion:
Therefore, we recommend the daily use of a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism. //you don't have. Need to argue against the conclusion always. 'a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil' is not equal to fish people eaten in East Meria.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 503 350
No. of Characters: 2400 1500
No. of Different Words: 207 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.736 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.771 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.435 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 162 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 112 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.346 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.361 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.615 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.324 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.498 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 377, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
...of food and are accustomed to eating it everyday. On the other hand, West Merias citizen...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 717, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r health. In addition, the fact that the East Meria people do not suffer frequent...
^^
Line 3, column 890, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Further,
...ave a good home treatment for the cold. Further evidence pertaining to whether people i...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 75, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Further,
...ery well supported in its current form. Further evidence pertaining to the applicabilit...
^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['but', 'first', 'firstly', 'however', 'if', 'lastly', 'may', 'moreover', 'really', 'second', 'secondly', 'so', 'therefore', 'thus', 'well', 'while', 'in addition', 'such as', 'on the other hand']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.273056057866 0.25644967241 106% => OK
Verbs: 0.160940325497 0.15541462614 104% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0958408679928 0.0836205057962 115% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0524412296564 0.0520304965353 101% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0253164556962 0.0272364105082 93% => OK
Prepositions: 0.113924050633 0.125424944231 91% => OK
Participles: 0.0488245931284 0.0416121511921 117% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.50921884006 2.79052419416 90% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0307414104882 0.026700313972 115% => OK
Particles: 0.00180831826401 0.001811407834 100% => OK
Determiners: 0.0904159132007 0.113004496875 80% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0289330922242 0.0255425247493 113% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0108499095841 0.0127820249294 85% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2963.0 2731.13054187 108% => OK
No of words: 503.0 446.07635468 113% => OK
Chars per words: 5.89065606362 6.12365571057 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.73578520332 4.57801047555 103% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.335984095427 0.378187486979 89% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.224652087475 0.287650121315 78% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.151093439364 0.208842608468 72% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0954274353877 0.135150697306 71% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50921884006 2.79052419416 90% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 207.018472906 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.425447316103 0.469332199767 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 48.322192543 52.1807786196 93% => OK
How many sentences: 26.0 20.039408867 130% => OK
Sentence length: 19.3461538462 23.2022227129 83% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.787086489 57.7814097925 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.961538462 141.986410481 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.3461538462 23.2022227129 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.730769230769 0.724660767414 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 3.58251231527 112% => OK
Readability: 41.8113625937 51.9672348444 80% => OK
Elegance: 1.82575757576 1.8405768891 99% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.399200502827 0.441005458295 91% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.10983077601 0.135418324435 81% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0737233326117 0.0829849096947 89% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.500985901615 0.58762219726 85% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.116916327378 0.147661913831 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.162396660977 0.193483328276 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0925322621895 0.0970749176394 95% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.481931638744 0.42659136922 113% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0799488254905 0.0774707102158 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.310736540399 0.312017818177 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.048647215306 0.0698173142475 70% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.33743842365 120% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.87684729064 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.82512315271 145% => OK
Positive topic words: 7.0 6.46551724138 108% => OK
Negative topic words: 9.0 5.36822660099 168% => OK
Neutral topic words: 6.0 2.82389162562 212% => OK
Total topic words: 22.0 14.657635468 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 70.83 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.25 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.