Celebrities make a very good living out of media attention and have chosen to live in the public spotlight. They have no right to complain when they feel the media are intruding on their privacy.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
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IELTS Writing Sample #172
IELTS Writing Tip
In the Writing Module, you only have an hour to complete the two tasks. Make sure you leave enough time to give yourself the opportunity to check both your answers thoroughly. Make any corrections neatly and legibly. Errors often occur when a letter is silent, for example in the words government, technology and otherwise. Be especially careful with vowel combinations in words such as beautiful and enormous. Also, remember to check that you have added any suffixes accurately: -ness and -ful are often misspelled.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Celebrities make a very good living out of media attention and have chosen to live in the public spotlight. They have no right to complain when they feel the media are intruding on their privacy.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
Model answer
Being famous should not mean that you give up all right to a private. Although a lot depends on the reason why a person is famous, everyone should be able to enjoy a certain amount of privacy.
I believe it is useful to draw a distinction between those who have sought a career in the public eye and those who have not. Prominent performers in film, television and music, for example, have clear chosen a career path that potentially leads to fame. In fact, for many of them, becoming as widely known as possible is a key ambition. Since they have invited the public to focus their attention on them, they should not be too surprised to find that people are interested in gossip or scandal about their private lives. Public attention is not something that you can turn on and off at will. Having said that, even those who seek fame still deserve the protection of the law and the media should be prevented from harassing them.
Other public figures, on the other hand, have not chosen to be famous. Members of royal families are born into fame, as are the children of celebrities. Ordinary people in the news often become well-known through no fault of their own. It is my opinion that the media have no right to intrude into these people’s private lives. I would even go so far as to say that I support an extension of the law to guarantee their privacy. The media should be prevented from reporting on things that should be private matters.
As the media continue to become more and more powerful in our society, so the question of privacy becomes more important. Everyone deserves a private life, although perhaps some deserve it more than others.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'if', 'so', 'still', 'well', 'as to', 'at least', 'for example', 'in fact', 'such as', 'on the other hand']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.273534635879 0.247107183377 111% => OK
Verbs: 0.152753108348 0.155533422707 98% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0763765541741 0.0946595960268 81% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0550621669627 0.0501214627716 110% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0515097690941 0.0437548338989 118% => OK
Prepositions: 0.108348134991 0.122226691241 89% => OK
Participles: 0.0301953818828 0.0403226058552 75% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.44088520331 2.80594681477 87% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0319715808171 0.0326793684256 98% => OK
Particles: 0.00355239786856 0.00163938923432 217% => OK
Determiners: 0.0834813499112 0.0861772015684 97% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0177619893428 0.021408717616 83% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0159857904085 0.011925033212 134% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3083.0 1933.35771543 159% => OK
No of words: 513.0 316.048096192 162% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 6.00974658869 6.12580529183 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75914943092 4.20517956788 113% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.321637426901 0.374742101984 86% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.2261208577 0.28420135186 80% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.148148148148 0.203846283523 73% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0799220272904 0.137316102897 58% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.44088520331 2.80594681477 87% => OK
Unique words: 272.0 176.037074148 155% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.530214424951 0.56093040696 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 64.4451295178 60.7387585426 106% => OK
How many sentences: 27.0 16.0891783567 168% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.7743622355 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 104.470222718 49.517814964 211% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 114.185185185 127.492653851 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.0 20.7743622355 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.407407407407 0.814263465372 50% => OK
Paragraphs: 25.0 4.38877755511 570% => There are something wrong with the essay format.
Language errors: 23.0 3.99599198397 576% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 41.61208577 49.1944974215 85% => OK
Elegance: 1.58904109589 1.69124875643 94% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.517099306984 0.332605444948 155% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0650103725731 0.102741220458 63% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0475162910546 0.0668466124924 71% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.713795267261 0.534860350844 133% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.272487508909 0.148594505496 183% => Sentences are changing often in a paragraphs.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.167497144946 0.134430193775 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.149418396363 0.0742795772207 201% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.208085743432 0.324371583561 64% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.245944813894 0.0638462369009 385% => No any connections among paragraphs
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.102326183207 0.228012699653 45% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.194723482734 0.058150111329 335% => Less connections among paragraphs
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.68436873747 138% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.9879759519 176% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 3.41683366733 234% => Less neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 7.0 5.90881763527 118% => OK
Negative topic words: 4.0 2.5751503006 155% => OK
Neutral topic words: 2.0 1.9629258517 102% => OK
Total topic words: 13.0 10.4468937876 124% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.