Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.
Celebrities are people that can have impact on society members’ perspective, however their acceptability is different among generations. Personally thinking, I believe that celebrity’s opinions are more important to younger people compared to older people. I will give three reasons to support my perspective.
First, young people usually are seeking a pattern to follow. The pattern can be celebrities, writers and thinkers. They think that celebrities are valid persons which all of their actions are true. For example, my cousin loves a soccer player. He try to make up his hair like the athlete. He always choose cloths to be similar with the player. Even my cousin’s gestures are similar to him. In total, my cousin try to follow the soccer’s player lifestyle. Even he try to persuade others to follow the player. His father is in opposite side and always castigate him. Thus, opinion of a celebrity such as fashion style, quotes, gestures and behaviors are more important to young people.
Following above, young people are more interested to celebrity’s opinions because they want to be member of a group of peoples which like the celebrity. As humans are social creature, all of always want to be in societies that are match with our favorites. It make us to feel more confidence. One of my friends likes body building. He always read their magazine and watch body building athlete’s interviews. He usually repeats quotes and statements of body building athletes. His life is dedicated to them. Most of his friends are body builders. His father used to be body building fan too. Now, his is ignore it. He says that I can’t do body building anymore, so I don’t mind what they say. So, being in a group that is similar to our interesting can be effective in shaping our perspective. Perspective which is presenting by celebrities.
Last but not least, celebrities are usually introduced as people which are benefit from some advantages and adjectives that make them bold among other, for example, they may be very beautiful, strong, hero, attractive, charismatic, etc. As humans are seeking perfection, everybody may be attracted to the celebrities which have one or several mentioned adjectives. Also, people usually like a certain celebrity, for example, Madonna, because they think that she is their desired person and she is the one that they can happy with them. So, this kind of romance stories among celebrities and young people are more common because youths are more eager to fall in love and they are more emotional than older people. Maybe, all of us had or has such romantic experience and almost, all of us know that when a person fall in love with another person, especially boys to girls, they try to get them closer to by confirming them. So, this confirmation strategy is applicable about celebrities too, consciously or unconsciously. Therefore, it is not surprising that if celebrity’s opinions are very important to youths.
In conclusion, young people are more influenced by celebrities. They are more susceptible to famous persons. They think that following celebrities make them valid in society, and that, easily can be a part of special group.
- TPO 24 Integrated 80
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 248, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'He' must be used with a third-person verb: 'tries'.
Suggestion: tries
...le, my cousin loves a soccer player. He try to make up his hair like the athlete. H...
^^^
Line 3, column 300, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[3]
Message: The pronoun 'He' must be used with a third-person verb: 'chooses'.
Suggestion: chooses
...up his hair like the athlete. He always choose cloths to be similar with the player. E...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 474, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'tries'.
Suggestion: tries
...soccer's player lifestyle. Even he try to persuade others to follow the player...
^^^
Line 5, column 266, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'makes'?
Suggestion: makes
...s that are match with our favorites. It make us to feel more confidence. One of my f...
^^^^
Line 5, column 614, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'ignored'.
Suggestion: ignored
...o be body building fan too. Now, his is ignore it. He says that I can't do body b...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, so, therefore, thus, for example, in conclusion, kind of, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 40.0 15.1003584229 265% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 11.0286738351 172% => OK
Pronoun: 69.0 43.0788530466 160% => OK
Preposition: 65.0 52.1666666667 125% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2708.0 1977.66487455 137% => OK
No of words: 526.0 407.700716846 129% => OK
Chars per words: 5.14828897338 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.78901763229 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96915572666 2.67179642975 111% => OK
Unique words: 253.0 212.727598566 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.480988593156 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 858.6 618.680645161 139% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 22.0 9.59856630824 229% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Interrogative: 0.0 0.994623655914 0% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 37.0 20.6003584229 180% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 20.1344086022 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 51.447889342 48.9658058833 105% => OK
Chars per sentence: 73.1891891892 100.406767564 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.2162162162 20.6045352989 69% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.72972972973 5.45110844103 50% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 22.0 11.8709677419 185% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 14.0 4.88709677419 286% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.240035618627 0.236089414692 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0574903129756 0.076458572812 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0690073012908 0.0737576698707 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.149659625629 0.150856017488 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.029930832975 0.0645574589148 46% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.9 11.7677419355 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.27 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.8 10.1575268817 87% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.0 10.9000537634 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.93 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 120.0 86.8835125448 138% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 10.002688172 55% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.0537634409 76% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.