"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
Arguing for the case of opening of cafe in the Monarch Books store without the imminent sign of decline in sales, and thus proposing extraneous option without any apparent need is seemingly superfluous. There is cry for a lot of questions to be addresed first without even coming to the conclusion of wether the store needs any changes or not.
First and foremost the question itself arises from the author remark that Monarch Books already have a large customer base because of it being able to cater a large variety of audience, Cleary one is tempted to ask " Why the need arises for any change in the store if the Sale it os doing is so good " and that to this question even becomes more compelling when their is a clear understanding that ability to store a large variety of books makes it do so well in the market.
Author has assumed that a cafe would attract a large no of customers but he is not able to show How it would help in increasing the customer base because it fails to answer certain important points. A book store is by definiton a store which houses Books for the purpose of selling, not a refreshment zone for which dedicated cafe stores are always every where to be seen. The question rises is does author takes into account as to why the customers would like to have a cafe in the book, when they can simply can find a myriad cafe in the town. Although as per the recent trend in demographics the percentage of children under 10 is declining, It fails to state wether the actual number is declining are not and if there is an influx of younger people in the town, The store would be benifited from including more types of booking catering to younger masses with childrens book sale going as ever.
Again if the number of children are really declining then also discontinuing the corner wouldnt help much as clearly it is mentioned that the ability to stock up a large variety of books is what the reason for its success. Lastly the most important question which needs to be answered is about the case of regale books store opening a cafe in their premises. Wether their sale was good before they opened the store, and wether opening a cafe have helped them scale up their sales whether or not people tend to visit the regale books store only for hitting the cafe. These questions certainly are pertinent to the current case of wether or not opening a cefe would help Monarch books store increase it sales.
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Sentence: Why the need arises for any change in the store if the Sale it os doing is so good ' and that to this question even becomes more compelling when their is a clear understanding that ability to store a large variety of books makes it do so well in the market.
Description: The tag a determiner, possessive is not usually followed by is
Suggestion: Refer to their and is
Sentence: The question rises is does author takes into account as to why the customers would like to have a cafe in the book, when they can simply can find a myriad cafe in the town.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb 'to do', present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to is and does
Sentence: There is cry for a lot of questions to be addresed first without even coming to the conclusion of wether the store needs any changes or not.
Error: wether Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: addresed Suggestion: addressed
Sentence: Why the need arises for any change in the store if the Sale it os doing is so good ' and that to this question even becomes more compelling when their is a clear understanding that ability to store a large variety of books makes it do so well in the market.
Error: os Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: A book store is by definiton a store which houses Books for the purpose of selling, not a refreshment zone for which dedicated cafe stores are always every where to be seen.
Error: definiton Suggestion: definition
Sentence: Although as per the recent trend in demographics the percentage of children under 10 is declining, It fails to state wether the actual number is declining are not and if there is an influx of younger people in the town, The store would be benifited from including more types of booking catering to younger masses with childrens book sale going as ever.
Error: wether Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: childrens Suggestion: children
Error: benifited Suggestion: benefited
Sentence: Again if the number of children are really declining then also discontinuing the corner wouldnt help much as clearly it is mentioned that the ability to stock up a large variety of books is what the reason for its success.
Error: wouldnt Suggestion: would
Sentence: Lastly the most important question which needs to be answered is about the case of regale books store opening a cafe in their premises.
Error: regale Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Wether their sale was good before they opened the store, and wether opening a cafe have helped them scale up their sales whether or not people tend to visit the regale books store only for hitting the cafe.
Error: wether Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: regale Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: These questions certainly are pertinent to the current case of wether or not opening a cefe would help Monarch books store increase it sales.
Error: wether Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: cefe Suggestion: cafe
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 13 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 13 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 441 350
No. of Characters: 1963 1500
No. of Different Words: 211 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.583 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.451 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.298 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 126 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 47 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 36.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.465 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.401 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.624 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.129 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5