The following appeared in a health newsletter.
"A ten-year nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago, approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets, whereas today that number is nearly 80 percent. Another study, however, suggests that during the same ten-year period, the number of bicycle-related accidents has increased 200 percent. These results demonstrate that bicyclists feel safer because they are wearing helmets, and they take more risks as a result. Thus, to reduce the number of serious injuries from bicycle accidents, the government should concentrate more on educating people about bicycle safety and less on encouraging or requiring bicyclists to wear helmets."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The argument with conclusion that the authority should concentrate more on educating people about bicycle safety and less on encouraging or requiring bicyclists to wear helmets to reduce the number of serious injuries from bicycle accidents is weak. It is based on two study concerning effectiveness of wearing a helmet and another premises that bicyclists feel safer because they are wearing helmets, and they take more risks as a result. However, there are so many missed assumptions, as explaned in the following paragraphs.
First, the assumption that wearing the halmet will let them feel safer and make them less cautious. If it is true, the last premise will like be right as well. However, there is no guarantee that wearing a helmet will result in such a ridiculous feeling. Maybe have such a heavy thing on their heads remind them of the danger on the street and make them more concentrate on their riding. As a result, a contrary conclusion will come out, and it shows that the argument is shaking.
Moreover, there is still a hidden assumption that the increase of accident is resulted from taking risk, that is, the bodeness of the riders. It could be right, supporting the deduction in the argument. However, the reasons for accident are various. There are kaleidoscopic kinds of accident such as the consequence of rough road, bad habit, and bad traffic regulations. All these may be the real reasons of increase of accident. To justify the conclusion, they should be all excluded. However, it is not mentioned in the statement.
In addition, even if both of the above assumptions be included, the final conclusion is still worthdoubt, since no demonstration of the two studies. They may be both right, which result in that the deducion probably be right. However, if one of the study is false, then the all discuion will be invalid. There should be some indication of the testimony of the two studies.
In the end, the argument, as it is seemed, is rather weak. However, if three assumptions above be provided, it will be greatly reinforced. Therefore, it is hard to be accepted. No way to deprive me of my helmet while riding a bicycle.
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Sentence: It is based on two study concerning effectiveness of wearing a helmet and another premises that bicyclists feel safer because they are wearing helmets, and they take more risks as a result.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to another and premises
Sentence: However, there are so many missed assumptions, as explaned in the following paragraphs.
Error: explaned Suggestion: explained
Sentence: First, the assumption that wearing the halmet will let them feel safer and make them less cautious.
Error: halmet Suggestion: hamlet
Sentence: In addition, even if both of the above assumptions be included, the final conclusion is still worthdoubt, since no demonstration of the two studies.
Error: worthdoubt Suggestion: worth doubt
Sentence: They may be both right, which result in that the deducion probably be right.
Error: deducion Suggestion: deduction
Sentence: However, if one of the study is false, then the all discuion will be invalid.
Error: discuion Suggestion: discussion
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.957 21.0
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.264 0.35
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.042 0.07
Be careful to use 'however'. In the third paragraph, two 'however' made me confused.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 367 350
No. of Characters: 1731 1500
No. of Different Words: 179 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.377 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.717 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.649 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 120 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.957 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.754 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.739 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.264 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.487 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.042 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5