Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Since the dawn of civilization people are more concerned about the education of their children. In this regard, there is a long-standing discussion among individuals whether offering money to their school-age children for each high grade they get is a beneficial strategy for improving the quality of their education or not. Some people may hold the view that following this method can make children inclined to spend more time and energy on their studies and improve their grades totally, while some others take an opposite viewpoint. I personally contend that offering money for each of the high grades that they achieve cannot optimize the quality of their education and studies. In the following, I will elaborate upon my standpoints through three reasonable pieces of evidence.
Firstly, it is generally agreed that the economic well-being of families who live today are more confined due to stiff competition among different business owners. People who live nowadays need to spend more hours on their work offices to attain a satisfactory amount of money for their expenses. Therefore, offering money to students for their high grades can not only put a heavy burden on the family' budget but also can increase economic problems for families in a long run. As a matter of fact, students who are accustomed to gain some money for reading their courses seems an extra cost to the financial situation of families. According to a recent study that is published in Time magazine, the economic growth of various communities is hitting by high competition and the poverty line is going to touch more and more people. Additionally, this research shows that although offering money to children can encourage them to study more, it will push more and more families to the poverty line.
Another reason which reserves some words here is that no one can neglect the fact that giving money to children for their high grades might have bad impressions on their behaviors. Statistics have shown that children learn in a conditional way. with this in mind, imagine a child that used to gain money for his grades. Thus he inclined to gain money for all of his duties and tasks. On the other hand, this technic may deviate their attention from the main goal of education which is elevating their future success. Take a personal experience as an example. when my brother studied in primary school, my father had believed that he can motivate him by offering some money after his high grades. Needless to say that this tactic had worked for a short run but when sometimes my father does not have enough money to persuade him, my brother gets depressed and pay less attention to his studies.
In brief, one can logically draw the conclusion that giving some money to children for their high grades high grades they get in school cannot help be a beneficial manner in terms of putting a threat on the financial situation of families and having bad impressions on their behavior. However, there are other reasons and examples, challenging these reasons, not mentioned above. All in all, it is highly recommended that a survey can assess the functionality of this behavior.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Since” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since the dawn of civilization people are mor...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 517, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[4]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'accustomed to gaining'.
Suggestion: accustomed to gaining
.... As a matter of fact, students who are accustomed to gain some money for reading their courses se...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 224, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a conditional way" with adverb for "conditional"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...atistics have shown that children learn in a conditional way. with this in mind, imagine a child tha...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 246, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: With
...at children learn in a conditional way. with this in mind, imagine a child that used...
^^^^
Line 5, column 321, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...that used to gain money for his grades. Thus he inclined to gain money for all of hi...
^^^^
Line 5, column 560, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: When
...ke a personal experience as an example. when my brother studied in primary school, m...
^^^^
Line 7, column 94, Rule ID: PHRASE_REPETITION[1]
Message: This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only 'high grades'.
Suggestion: high grades
...giving some money to children for their high grades high grades they get in school cannot help be a ben...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, may, so, therefore, thus, well, while, in brief, as a matter of fact, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 21.0 11.0286738351 190% => OK
Pronoun: 60.0 43.0788530466 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 67.0 52.1666666667 128% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2636.0 1977.66487455 133% => OK
No of words: 530.0 407.700716846 130% => OK
Chars per words: 4.97358490566 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.79809637944 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5889900248 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 262.0 212.727598566 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.494339622642 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 825.3 618.680645161 133% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.6460635127 48.9658058833 122% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.818181818 100.406767564 119% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.0909090909 20.6045352989 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.77272727273 5.45110844103 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.331930347206 0.236089414692 141% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.101170668838 0.076458572812 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0860363340586 0.0737576698707 117% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.229937403467 0.150856017488 152% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0693855788111 0.0645574589148 107% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 11.7677419355 119% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 58.1214874552 81% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 10.1575268817 125% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 10.9000537634 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.28 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 116.0 86.8835125448 134% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.