parents should not give money to children if they got high marks. Agree or disagree
School education is getting more competitive for new children of any age, especially when the parents are fully dedicated to helping succeed their kids. Today we are going talk about, how some mothers and fathers give to their child financial incentives for every excellent grade, that the kid brings home. In my opinion, this is not a good idea for the following reasons.
In the first place, the student is solely responsible for the school notes. During my childhood, my mother was so busy taking care of my others brothers and sisters, that I felt alone and responsible for my own encounters with the school reality. Since I was little, I used to take notes and creates like an agenda to keep track of my work, in this way I was able to manage, and learn how to gets good grades, also following up with my teachers if I missed something. My mom was so proud of me at the end of the school year, but I never received any treat or monetary recognition for doing what I supposed to be finishing in the classroom.
Next, some parents have large families and working double shifts to support them. One of my best friend in my country, when we were pre-teens, they were 9 brothers and sisters plus mom and dad in her family, my friend was very spoiled. She will make her mom give her money every time she gets good school notes. The rest of her siblings were not that lucky as her, because they didn't get anything for doing a good job at school but, because she was the little princess, she will get all the attention from her mother. this actions will cause financial hardship for her parents and the rest of the family.
In conclusion, when parents act in these situations of giving money or other financial gifts to their children every time they bring good notes from school; promotes that the child will be asking for more and more every time and maybe in the near future this type of motivation may not work for the student. Also for the reasons mentioned above I believe it is not a good idea to give money or special treatments when the child brings home good notes.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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... a good idea for the following reasons. In the first place, the student is solel...
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... work, in this way I was able to manage, and learn how to gets good grades, also ...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...posed to be finishing in the classroom. Next, some parents have large families a...
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Suggestion: didn't
...ere not that lucky as her, because they didnt get anything for doing a good job at sc...
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Suggestion: This
... get all the attention from her mother. this actions will cause financial hardship f...
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Line 5, column 519, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
... get all the attention from her mother. this actions will cause financial hardship f...
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Line 5, column 606, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...her parents and the rest of the family. In conclusion, when parents act in these...
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Line 7, column 309, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...otivation may not work for the student. Also for the reasons mentioned above I belie...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, so, i suppose, in conclusion, in my opinion, in the first place
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 50.0 43.0788530466 116% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 52.1666666667 81% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1705.0 1977.66487455 86% => OK
No of words: 379.0 407.700716846 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.49868073879 4.8611393121 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41224685777 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.28808733865 2.67179642975 86% => OK
Unique words: 199.0 212.727598566 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.525065963061 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 523.8 618.680645161 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 20.1344086022 134% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 65.9149498387 48.9658058833 135% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.785714286 100.406767564 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.0714285714 20.6045352989 131% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.42857142857 5.45110844103 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0941087667035 0.236089414692 40% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0380440961866 0.076458572812 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0375542120549 0.0737576698707 51% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.068683104682 0.150856017488 46% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0475844433943 0.0645574589148 74% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 11.7677419355 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 60.99 58.1214874552 105% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.12 10.9000537634 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.77 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 86.8835125448 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.0537634409 127% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.