"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest
jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have
the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people
attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer; several well-known jazz musicians live in
Monroe; and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every
weeknight at 7 P.M. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to
$1,000 per year on jazz entertainment."
The argument states a group of developers thought that a jazz club would be a profitable enterprise as there is no such jazz club nearby and people seems to like jazz music and eager enough to spend money for jazz entertainment. But their claims are based on some unwarranted assumptions, that to make their position more persuasive need to be clarified.
First, they assume that as the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away, people would go to the proposed jazz club and spend their money on entertainment. But what if the people in Monroe are not that much enthusiastic about jazz. Maybe they like jazz but not enough to spend money on it. What if there are other mediums where people can enjoy jazz music for free such as the internet or tv programs. If there are other cheap and easily accessible mediums for jazz music then people are less likely to go to the new club. In that case, a new jazz music club would not be a profitable business as it is supposed.
Secondly, It may be true that people visited the annual jazz festival but it doesn't necessarily mean that people will visit the club on a regular basis. Maybe people were drawn to the program because the artists playing there were famous. It is less probable that local artists would get such an amount of attention as the well-known artists did. And the time at which the festival took place should also be considered. Maybe the festival saw a great number of people because it was summer and most people were on vacation. The new jazz club may not be able to attract people all along the year.
Finally, the argument says about a nationwide study that indicates the popularity of jazz music but provides no further information. who were asked, what kinds of questions were asked there are no pieces of information regarding these. Maybe a bunch of people was asked on the street or online randomly who were not a sample representative for the total population. Or maybe just the jazz fans were asked during a jazz show. The survey upon which the popularity of jazz music in counted on maybe a biased or inaccurate one. So it may not
provide a clear picture of jazz music's popularity nationwide.
The group of developers needs to be more articulate and should base their claim on some well-established facts and scientifically proven survey rather than some contrived assumptions whose validity may be questioned. A robust survey about people's taste in music, their willingness to pay, the talent of the local artists may be of great help.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 442 350
No. of Characters: 2030 1500
No. of Different Words: 206 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.585 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.593 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.514 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 117 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 76 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.091 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.728 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.591 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.327 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.555 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.078 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 11, column 78, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...visited the annual jazz festival but it doesnt necessarily mean that people will visit...
^^^^^^
Line 15, column 134, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Who
...ic but provides no further information. who were asked, what kinds of questions wer...
^^^
Line 17, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Provide
...ased or inaccurate one. So it may not provide a clear picture of jazz musics populari...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, thus, well, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2110.0 2260.96107784 93% => OK
No of words: 441.0 441.139720559 100% => OK
Chars per words: 4.78458049887 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58257569496 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57656647159 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 204.123752495 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.460317460317 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 652.5 705.55239521 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.549534825 57.8364921388 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.9090909091 119.503703932 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0454545455 23.324526521 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.27272727273 5.70786347227 75% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.344634436188 0.218282227539 158% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.120608616561 0.0743258471296 162% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.122560685749 0.0701772020484 175% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.189767016023 0.128457276422 148% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.119455068698 0.0628817314937 190% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.1 14.3799401198 77% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.44 12.5979740519 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.42 8.32208582834 89% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 98.500998004 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.