The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The argument concludes that the birth order affects the individual's level of stimulation. The conclusion is based on the premise that first born infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol which primes the body for increased activity level as do their younger siblings, first born humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situation and also first-time mother monkeys has higher levels of cortisol comparing to those who had several offspring. This argument is based on assumptions which should be discussed about and to be proved; otherwise the it is flawed and cannot be accepted.
First the argument relates the high level of cortisol in first born monkeys to the high level of stimulation. The prompt has not mentioned if this biologic compound is the only material responsible for stimulation in animals and in human being. The body is a complex of many biochemical materials which act at the same time and the animal and human response is the overall reaction to all these compounds. There are chemicals and neurotransmitters such as dopamine, serotonin, epinephrine or norepinephrine which all are stimulants and boost excitement and activity and their level in blood and nervous system causes different physical and psychological reactions in body. There are also other bio-compounds which can act reversely and decrease the level of activity and stimulation such as endorphins. The argument has not mention if any of these material also have been considered and their blood level examined during the examination.
On the other hand, body responses are the reaction of biochemical and neurotransmitters and their corresponding receptors on cell membranes. The argument has mentioned the increase level of cortisone in first born monkey and children as the cause of higher level of stimulation but hasn't mentioned if the level of response to these compounds at the level of cell membranes and receptors also accommodates to this higher level of cortisone. The effects of insulin levels in diabetes can be a good example to elucidate the case. In IDDM or type 1 of diabetes the level of insulin is low and this is the cause of disease but opposite to this, the level of insulin in the other kind of diabetes, NIDDM or type 2 of the disease is not low at all. Actually it is the unresponsiveness of the receptors that causes the same symptoms of the malady in patients.
The last thing to consider is that the argument refers to the high level of cortisol in first gravid pregnant mother monkeys and infant monkeys as the cause of higher level of stimulation in first born. But the argument doesn't mention if it has followed the high level of this substance all through growing stages of life and other ages. It is possible that this higher of cortisol is only limited the time of pregnancy and infanthood and doesn't continue into adulthood.
To conclude the talk, if the argument could show that it had considered the level of receptor responses on cell membrane level, the continuation of higher level of cortisone during other stages of life and could prove the cortisol as the only cause of stimulation in monkeys and human or have considered and calculated the level of other substances causing activity and stimulation in these creatures, the argument could be logically acceptable. Otherwise it is flawed and faulty and naturally refuted.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 567 350
No. of Characters: 2806 1500
No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.88 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.949 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.838 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 191 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 157 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 125 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 74 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.842 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.859 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.684 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.351 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.526 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.062 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 594, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'the' or 'it'?
Suggestion: the; it
...ussed about and to be proved; otherwise the it is flawed and cannot be accepted. Fir...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 674, Rule ID: ALSO_OTHER[1]
Message: Use simply 'there are other' or 'there are also'
Suggestion: There are other; There are also
...al and psychological reactions in body. There are also other bio-compounds which can act reversely a...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 825, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'mentioned'.
Suggestion: mentioned
...uch as endorphins. The argument has not mention if any of these material also have been...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 283, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: hasn't
...ause of higher level of stimulation but hasnt mentioned if the level of response to t...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 464, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[3]
Message: You should probably use 'level'.
Suggestion: level
...el of cortisone. The effects of insulin levels in diabetes can be a good example to el...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 221, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ulation in first born. But the argument doesnt mention if it has followed the high lev...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 440, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...he time of pregnancy and infanthood and doesnt continue into adulthood. To conclude ...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 447, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Otherwise,
...argument could be logically acceptable. Otherwise it is flawed and faulty and naturally r...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, if, so, kind of, such as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 37.0 11.1786427146 331% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 80.0 55.5748502994 144% => OK
Nominalization: 26.0 16.3942115768 159% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2849.0 2260.96107784 126% => OK
No of words: 564.0 441.139720559 128% => OK
Chars per words: 5.05141843972 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.87326216964 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8761838396 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 216.0 204.123752495 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.382978723404 0.468620217663 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 916.2 705.55239521 130% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 102.819342414 57.8364921388 178% => OK
Chars per sentence: 149.947368421 119.503703932 125% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.6842105263 23.324526521 127% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.73684210526 5.70786347227 65% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.88822355289 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.136428467977 0.218282227539 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0524369183385 0.0743258471296 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0538288504207 0.0701772020484 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0928572836983 0.128457276422 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.00991939037122 0.0628817314937 16% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.2 14.3799401198 120% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.04 48.3550499002 87% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.197005988 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.6 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.52 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 123.0 98.500998004 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 12.3882235529 149% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 19.0 11.9071856287 160% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.