The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
It Is stated in a scientific journal about the effects of birth order on eighteen rhesus monkeys .In this study, it is showed that by stimulating,first born monkeys have more hormone cortisol than their younger siblings. Human beings also show this type of tendency .However, before evaluating the argument some plausible explanations need to be defined whether the explanations on that study are reasonable or not .
First of all, the study was based on only about EIGHTEEN monkeys .And they have reached a decision in that journal with such a short amount of data .It might happen that other monkeys do not have increased cortisol levels like these monkeys .Or it might happen that only these selected monkey show the increased cortisol level which eventually enhance their activity level .Other infant monkeys might not produce that much hormone like rhesus monkeys .If all of these become true ,the editor’s argument is surely wear out .
Furthermore, these monkeys were studied in a stimulating system. It might happen when they are in the wild or in their own comfortable situations , they show other traits .Or it might also happen that the younger siblings have more energy levels than the first one .The study was based on encountering with an unfamiliar monkey ,but they do not study what will happen when they encounter with the similar one .in that case they might show some other traits than this time .In this case ,the study in that scientific journal is considerably flawed and do not hold water .
Moreover ,just because first born ‘humans’ produce high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations does not indicate the monkeys will behave the same. It might happen that the monkeys cortisol level were increased due to numerous other factors. The factors might be physical, psychological or environmental for which the monkeys produce higher amount of cortisol than their younger ones as well the pregnant ones .Only because that mother monkeys and human also have the higher cortisol levels does not indicate it will be the same for all others monkeys too. If this is the case ,then the study is seriously undermined .
In conclusion ,the argument where it stands now is considerably weakened due to unwarranted assumptions and that need some proper justifications .If the editor of that journal can explain all of these assumptions and show proper reasoning, the study might give a shot in animals and science fields in the near future .
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 407 350
No. of Characters: 2004 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.492 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.924 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.479 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 139 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 33.917 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 28.38 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.365 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.593 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.043 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 97, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...f birth order on eighteen rhesus monkeys .In this study, it is showed that by stim...
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Line 1, column 99, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
...birth order on eighteen rhesus monkeys .In this study, it is showed that by stimul...
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Line 1, column 146, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , first
... study, it is showed that by stimulating,first born monkeys have more hormone cortisol...
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Line 1, column 266, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...n beings also show this type of tendency .However, before evaluating the argument ...
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Line 1, column 268, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: However
...beings also show this type of tendency .However, before evaluating the argument some pl...
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Line 1, column 415, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ions on that study are reasonable or not . First of all, the study was based on ...
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Line 3, column 65, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...was based on only about EIGHTEEN monkeys .And they have reached a decision in that...
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Line 3, column 67, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: And
...s based on only about EIGHTEEN monkeys .And they have reached a decision in that jo...
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Line 3, column 148, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...journal with such a short amount of data .It might happen that other monkeys do no...
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Line 3, column 150, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: It
...urnal with such a short amount of data .It might happen that other monkeys do not ...
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Line 3, column 241, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...eased cortisol levels like these monkeys .Or it might happen that only these selec...
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Line 3, column 243, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: Or
...sed cortisol levels like these monkeys .Or it might happen that only these selecte...
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Line 3, column 373, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... eventually enhance their activity level .Other infant monkeys might not produce t...
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Line 3, column 375, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Other
...ventually enhance their activity level .Other infant monkeys might not produce that m...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 451, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ce that much hormone like rhesus monkeys .If all of these become true ,the editor...
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Line 3, column 453, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: If
... that much hormone like rhesus monkeys .If all of these become true ,the editor&a...
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Line 3, column 462, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...h hormone like rhesus monkeys .If all of these become true ,the editor's ar...
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Line 3, column 481, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...us monkeys .If all of these become true ,the editor's argument is surely we...
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Line 3, column 500, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...of these become true ,the editor's argument is surely wear out . Furth...
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Line 3, column 521, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'worn'.
Suggestion: worn
... ,the editor's argument is surely wear out . Furthermore, these monkeys w...
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Line 3, column 529, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...itor's argument is surely wear out . Furthermore, these monkeys were st...
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Line 7, column 146, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...d or in their own comfortable situations , they show other traits .Or it might als...
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Line 7, column 171, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...able situations , they show other traits .Or it might also happen that the younger...
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Line 7, column 173, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Or
...le situations , they show other traits .Or it might also happen that the younger s...
^^
Line 7, column 265, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...ve more energy levels than the first one .The study was based on encountering with...
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Line 7, column 267, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
... more energy levels than the first one .The study was based on encountering with an...
^^^
Line 7, column 328, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...n encountering with an unfamiliar monkey ,but they do not study what will happen w...
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Line 7, column 409, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...when they encounter with the similar one .in that case they might show some other ...
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Line 7, column 472, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...ht show some other traits than this time .In this case ,the study in that scientif...
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Line 7, column 474, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
... show some other traits than this time .In this case ,the study in that scientific...
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Line 7, column 486, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ther traits than this time .In this case ,the study in that scientific journal is ...
^^
Line 7, column 569, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...onsiderably flawed and do not hold water . Moreover ,just because first born ...
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Line 11, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ed and do not hold water . Moreover ,just because first born 'humans&apo...
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Line 11, column 189, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'monkeys'' or 'monkey's'?
Suggestion: monkeys'; monkey's
...have the same. It might happen that the monkeys cortisol level were increased due to nu...
^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 275, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...umerous other factors. The factors might be physical, psychological or environmen...
^^
Line 11, column 426, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...r younger ones as well the pregnant ones .Only because that mother monkeys and hum...
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Line 11, column 428, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Only
...younger ones as well the pregnant ones .Only because that mother monkeys and human a...
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Line 11, column 593, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... others monkeys too. If this is the case ,then the study is seriously undermined ....
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Line 11, column 633, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
... ,then the study is seriously undermined . In conclusion ,the argument where ...
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Line 15, column 14, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...eriously undermined . In conclusion ,the argument where it stands now is cons...
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Line 15, column 145, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...and that need some proper justifications .If the editor of that journal can explai...
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Line 15, column 147, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: If
...d that need some proper justifications .If the editor of that journal can explain ...
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Line 15, column 271, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...easoning, the study might give a shot in animals and science fields in the near f...
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Line 15, column 318, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ls and science fields in the near future .
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, however, if, moreover, so, then, well, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 28.8173652695 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 40.0 55.5748502994 72% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 16.3942115768 30% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2082.0 2260.96107784 92% => OK
No of words: 406.0 441.139720559 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.12807881773 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48881294772 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66220868376 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.450738916256 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 640.8 705.55239521 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 19.7664670659 51% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 40.0 22.8473053892 175% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 160.908794042 57.8364921388 278% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 208.2 119.503703932 174% => OK
Words per sentence: 40.6 23.324526521 174% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.7 5.70786347227 170% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 44.0 5.25449101796 837% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.230153345876 0.218282227539 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.108934853072 0.0743258471296 147% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0551238369625 0.0701772020484 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.140815435073 0.128457276422 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0431039868765 0.0628817314937 69% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 23.0 14.3799401198 160% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 30.88 48.3550499002 64% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 18.9 12.197005988 155% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.36 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.65 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 98.500998004 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 12.3882235529 149% => OK
gunning_fog: 18.0 11.1389221557 162% => OK
text_standard: 19.0 11.9071856287 160% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.