parents should spend their free time having fun with their kids in their free time or do something related to schoolwork
In the last three decades, the world has become very intricate and competitive; to that end, parents have not enough time to spend with their kids. Some people believe that parents should spend their sapre time doing something related to schoolwoork. However, there is a substantial body of evidence claims that they should spend their free time playing and having fun with their offspring. From a personal perspective, the latter point of view carries more weight given that kids could feel more loved and less stressful. Below I will strive to explain my supporting points in more details.
The first and foremost point, childhood time is very short compared to a man's lifespan. Provided that parents spend a quality time with their children, they could build up a intimate relationship with them. Furthermore, kids will have premium memories with their parents. In addition to that , parents could spend this time palying sports or games with their kids, so they could encourage them to be healthy. A vivid example that could be given to shed light on what was states above, twenty years ago, when I was a child, my dad was so busy working the whole day. Although he did not have enough time to spend with me and my siblings, I had a very a pleasent memory with him. When he passed away I was just thirteen, but I still remember him clearly, given that he spent most of his spare time not only playing and having fun, but also having a quality conversation. To put it in other words, I had a profounded relationship with my father, which enhance my slef-steem since I alwya felt loved and secure. Consequently, having fun with out kids during our free time is imperative.
Next ,coupled with enjoyment, less stress is another reason why parents should dedicate their free time with children on fun stuff. Children who study the whole day are usually feel overwhelmed and under severe pressure. In other words, provided that parents just foccus on learning academic stuff, their kids will feel much stress. For instance, Tiger mom is a vast social problem in China. Parents in China concentrate on their children results from studing because they want them to acomply their career. Some children who failed to fullfill their goals could commit a suicide given that they could not afford this stressful atmosphere. On the other hand, when parents playing with their kids, they could teach them that kowledge could exist anywhere instead of studying in schools. Moreover, gamimg could also offer a window for them to chase the wisdom. Therefore, spending pleasent time with kids is essential and could prevent devastating consequences.
Taking everything into consideration, without a doubt, parents should have fun with their kids during their free time rather than doing assignment realated to schools. It is suggested that parents compromose to spend lovely time wit thier kids, yet a valuable one.
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- TPO-44 - Independent Writing Task Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing th 70
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 174, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ith their children, they could build up a intimate relationship with them. Furthe...
^
Line 3, column 293, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... with their parents. In addition to that , parents could spend this time palying s...
^^
Line 3, column 1034, Rule ID: WITH_OUT[1]
Message: This word is usually written together. Did you mean 'without'?
Suggestion: without
...ed and secure. Consequently, having fun with out kids during our free time is imperative...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 5, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ring our free time is imperative. Next ,coupled with enjoyment, less stress is a...
^^
Line 7, column 266, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ime wit thier kids, yet a valuable one.
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, furthermore, however, if, moreover, so, still, therefore, for instance, in addition, in other words, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 9.8082437276 184% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.0286738351 163% => OK
Pronoun: 62.0 43.0788530466 144% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 58.0 52.1666666667 111% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2423.0 1977.66487455 123% => OK
No of words: 487.0 407.700716846 119% => OK
Chars per words: 4.97535934292 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69766713281 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47581607648 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 256.0 212.727598566 120% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.525667351129 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 702.9 618.680645161 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 33.5051995965 48.9658058833 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.92 100.406767564 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.48 20.6045352989 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0 5.45110844103 110% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.547556955413 0.236089414692 232% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.171038077963 0.076458572812 224% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.15287436702 0.0737576698707 207% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.412757716959 0.150856017488 274% => Maybe some contents are duplicated.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0871156811453 0.0645574589148 135% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 11.7677419355 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 58.1214874552 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 10.1575268817 82% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.6 10.9000537634 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.05 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 86.8835125448 123% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.