Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay topics:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Submitted by hadimz on Sat, 11/30/2019 - 12:24

I think that no ads on the television should be directed towards young kids. At the stage of life the young children are, the brain has not fully formed yet and they need a parent or guardian's help to complete even the simplest tasks. So, it would be inappropriate to make ads that target these children and try to make money by manipulating these innocent kids.

Young children are still in their physical and mental developement stage and that is why they are not allowed to do many things that adults can, like driving or drawing money from a bank account, and also need a parent or guardian present for doing some other things, like seeing a movie at the theatre. So, in my opinion, the same argument that led to putting some restrictions on the things kids can do also holds for companies and manufacturers that make products for kids. Companies should not be allowed to appeal to the kids directly and they should not be allowed to bypass the parents and go to the kids directly. They must go through the parents' filter, who, according to the law, are and will be the ones in charge of the kids until much later in their lives, and let them decide what is best for their kids.

Also, in addition to being a manipulative strategy, ads tailored specificly towards kids can become a burden to families and especially parents. A young child seeing a flashy ad on the TV, which will probably air during a kids' program, will almost definitely fall in love with the ad and want the product it is trying to sell. So, in case the parents do not see this product as being appropriate for their child and refuse to buy it for him or her, the kid's response can vary all the way from being upset from his or her parents to nagging and badgering them constantly until they give up and buy the product which they deemed inappropriate for their kid. Also, considering that their would be an aboundance of ads on TV, this could become a daily issue in the households with young kids.

All things considered, I think that the parents are the most reliable people when it comes to making decisions for their kids and making and airing ads targeted towards kids, which would eliminate the guardian role of the parents, will only benefit the companies and it will not be good for the kids or their parents and therefore should not be allowed.

Votes
Average: 6.8 (1 vote)
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Independent TOEFL Writing

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 454, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'kids'' or 'kid's'?
Suggestion: kids'; kid's
...nd refuse to buy it for him or her, the kids response can vary all the way from bein...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, if, so, still, therefore, i think, in addition, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 9.8082437276 204% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 26.0 13.8261648746 188% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 43.0788530466 93% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 52.1666666667 90% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1923.0 1977.66487455 97% => OK
No of words: 423.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.54609929078 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53508145475 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.37687076046 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 199.0 212.727598566 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.470449172577 0.524837075471 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 575.1 618.680645161 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 20.6003584229 58% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 35.0 20.1344086022 174% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 83.8561516328 48.9658058833 171% => OK
Chars per sentence: 160.25 100.406767564 160% => OK
Words per sentence: 35.25 20.6045352989 171% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.58333333333 5.45110844103 102% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 11.8709677419 42% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.136402651165 0.236089414692 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.071334747485 0.076458572812 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.056872590343 0.0737576698707 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0991942186557 0.150856017488 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0296740221766 0.0645574589148 46% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.6 11.7677419355 150% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.87 58.1214874552 91% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 10.1575268817 144% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.7 10.9000537634 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.06 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 86.8835125448 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 16.0 10.0537634409 159% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 68.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.