TPO 24 - Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
most parents want their children to be successful and good person in future when they become adults. parents have many ways to discipline their children that they make sure that their offsprings would later thank their parents for their actions. personally, i believe that one of the good ways to prepare teenagers for adults life is making them do part-time jobs. I feel this way for two reasons, which i will explain in the following essay.
First of all, one of the most important adult life aspects is a job. Sooner or later and whether we want it or not, at one point we reach the age of adult life that require having jobs from us for living. So also teenagers having jobs from young ages most definitely prepare them for this that once they reach the certain age, they would feel much less stress and be more confident compared to their counterparts who don't have any job experience before hand. my own experience is a compelling example of this. Throughout my teenage years and young adult college years, i have never had any job. after graduating from my college, i got employed right away. but the transition from free life of student to an adult with job responsibilities was hard and shocking for me. but for my friends who had experiences of having part-time jobs or full time jobs and college classmates who had part-time jobs, they have never experienced such emotional distress like me because they were well prepared and though through their experiences.
Secondly, part-time jobs discipline children and make them understand the value of money, which in turn important realization for adults. At one point most kids have some spoiled attitudes towards their parents, disrespect their parents' efforts, and ignore what their parents are going through for the sake of their kids. By allowing children to have part-time jobs they would more likely value money and spent it wisely. For instance, a relative of mine was really wasteful kid that he used to spent all of his money to play games in game centres, and if got money he spent it immediately in unimportant things. His parents decided to make do part time job in local marketing. after a while, he seemed more mature and wise that he quit playing games and started using his money wisely like saving his money in bank for later his education. As a result, once he reached the college age, he had lots of money that all of them were result of his own savings.
In conclusion, i strongly believe that it is necessary for teenagers having part time jobs. this is because they will adapt to working life adults at young ages and they will be more disciplined and be responsible for their actions.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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most parents want their children to be succe...
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Suggestion: Parents
...rson in future when they become adults. parents have many ways to discipline their chil...
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Suggestion: Personally
... thank their parents for their actions. personally, i believe that one of the good ways to...
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... parents for their actions. personally, i believe that one of the good ways to pr...
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... I feel this way for two reasons, which i will explain in the following essay. ...
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Suggestion: don't
...dent compared to their counterparts who dont have any job experience before hand. my...
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...rparts who dont have any job experience before hand. my own experience is a compelling exam...
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...nt have any job experience before hand. my own experience is a compelling example ...
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...ollege years, i have never had any job. after graduating from my college, i got emplo...
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... my college, i got employed right away. but the transition from free life of studen...
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...experiences of having part-time jobs or full time jobs and college classmates who had par...
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Suggestion: part-time
... things. His parents decided to make do part time job in local marketing. after a while, ...
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...ke do part time job in local marketing. after a while, he seemed more mature and wise...
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Suggestion: part-time
...at it is necessary for teenagers having part time jobs. this is because they will adapt t...
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...ry for teenagers having part time jobs. this is because they will adapt to working l...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, really, second, secondly, so, well, while, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, as a result, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 13.8261648746 145% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 70.0 43.0788530466 162% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 49.0 52.1666666667 94% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2205.0 1977.66487455 111% => OK
No of words: 465.0 407.700716846 114% => OK
Chars per words: 4.74193548387 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64369019777 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.44826596666 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 212.727598566 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.479569892473 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 679.5 618.680645161 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.66538614 48.9658058833 116% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.0 100.406767564 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.1428571429 20.6045352989 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.04761904762 5.45110844103 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 15.0 5.5376344086 271% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.279806192802 0.236089414692 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.102013614552 0.076458572812 133% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0684880954948 0.0737576698707 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.189473501895 0.150856017488 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0649714748844 0.0645574589148 101% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 11.7677419355 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.21 10.9000537634 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.61 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 86.8835125448 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.