Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People should relax with the ways related to their hobbies and physical activities which are different with their work.
It is widely acknowledged that it is no better to pursue one’s profession for their work, regardless of their usage of time for it as a job or in the recreation time. However, I, personally, subscribe to the view that people should spend their off time for those activities that deviates them from their working contents due to several reasons listed below.
To commence with, one of the most compelling reasons in advocacy of the thesis is that people can gain refreshment from those activities which do not require heavy responsibilities and loads as jobs do. During worktime, people face many difficulties and are forced to realize their responsibilities as a part of the whole society. Recreation time, in contrast, is allowing them to escape from heavy responsibilities and work pressures for a moment. Take my history teacher as an example. As a hardworking person, she always tries to solve the problems occurring in her curriculum or with students. Therefore, she is seldom relaxed while working. However, she has one hobby, dancing, that makes her temporarily away from all stressful matters. As a result, she enjoys her refreshment time by moving her body with music to clear up her mind.
In addition, making trials to different kinds of hobbies or physical activities often allow people to broaden their mind field. During worktime, individuals are often obsessed with thoughts that are only germane to the specific field they are literally working with. In contrast, a shift to their mind by spending time doing different things provides them with not only refreshment but also keys to solve problems. For instance, a famous model in China called Shui He once was struggling about losing her weight and become more good-looking by controlling her diet strictly. However, the more she tries to control her calorie intakes, the more she became stressed and sick. But then at this time she started to do exercises at sports gym which shifted her mind from a stressful strict diet toward a healthy, flexible body making. She now is enjoying both her glorious carrier and a hobby workout which cheers her up.
Furthermore, making engagements with widespread types of activities offer individuals with chances to acknowledge many people who are uneasy to meet while working in workplaces. No matter how much individuals are involved, one type of job is only limited to those who are engaged with a specific part of the society. However, if individuals tried to elongate their curiosity toward different parts of societies, they can meet many interesting people. A movie film maker might get his creation inspiration from a fishing companion who he met in his weekends. Or an office worker might have an eager to go travel around the world when making conversations with a foreign shop worker. Once one walked into different roads, they will realize that there are many interesting people who take them to another world.
In conclusion, although it is undeniable that the work often needs precise and professional performances which are achieved when people spend an abundant amount of time, I firmly consist to the opinion that recreation time are better to be spent with activities which are making seldom connections with their work.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 255, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ktime, people face many difficulties and are forced to realize their responsibili...
^^
Line 7, column 194, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...le working in workplaces. No matter how much individuals are involved, one type of j...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, however, if, look, so, then, therefore, while, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, in contrast, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 11.0286738351 181% => OK
Pronoun: 58.0 43.0788530466 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 78.0 52.1666666667 150% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2722.0 1977.66487455 138% => OK
No of words: 535.0 407.700716846 131% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08785046729 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80937282943 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79157736482 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 280.0 212.727598566 132% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.523364485981 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 840.6 618.680645161 136% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.8802040539 48.9658058833 110% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.416666667 100.406767564 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.2916666667 20.6045352989 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.70833333333 5.45110844103 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 3.85842293907 285% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.31900990192 0.236089414692 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0896024772569 0.076458572812 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0774835361296 0.0737576698707 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.19557527686 0.150856017488 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0327056524493 0.0645574589148 51% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 11.7677419355 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 58.1214874552 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.54 10.9000537634 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.51 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 128.0 86.8835125448 147% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.