It is said that travel broadens the mind. What can we learn by travelling to other countries? Should we first explore our own countries? Discuss
We have a lot of countries in the world. Each of them have especially culture, foods, custom, history, art, technology. By traveling to a country, we learn a lot of information about it. This information might help us to change our lives.
In my opinion, we must first travel inside. I have some reason for it. Firstly, traveling inside, improve tourism industry. Secondly, it's a opportunity for create new jobs . Finally, we understand about past and current culture in every place. For example, in Iran we have a lot of language such as Turkey, Lori, Gilaki. People who lives in Gilan, spoken Gilaki. They have interesting culture, in additional they have a lot of hero in history. Improve tourism industry cause people in other country know better about our country. And also we can keep safe our monuments. For example we must protect some place like Takhte Jamshid.
When we travel to other country, we can see how much different it is between our country and them. Also we can introduce our country to them. Traveling to each place teach us the people how think, how lives, and also hoe movement in their country acts.
In conclusion, I prefer first travel inside my country and know everything about my country and also see people in other country, talked to theme, see their current lives and use their experience in my life. Moreover, temp them to travel to my country and enjoy from my culture and people and every beautiful place we have.
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Comments
Sentence: Each of them have
Sentence: Each of them have especially culture, foods, custom, history, art, technology.
Description: The fragment have especially culture is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace especially with adjective
Sentence: Secondly, it's a opportunity for create new jobs .
Description: The tag a pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a
Suggestion: Refer to it's and a
Description: The token for is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to for and create
Sentence: Traveling to each place teach us the people how think, how lives, and also hoe movement in their country acts.
Description: The fragment how think , is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace think with verb, past participle
Description: The fragment place teach us is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace teach with verb, past tense
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Words: 252 350
No. of Characters: 1152 1500
No. of Different Words: 126 200
Write the essay with more vocabulary words. When you have an idea, you need to argue with 2-3 sentences. Don't just put one line and leave it alone. That is a wrong format like: Firstly, traveling inside, improve tourism industry. Secondly, it's a opportunity for create new jobs...
Correct way:
Firstly, traveling inside, improve tourism industry.(more words here why you think traveling inside, improve tourism industry and examples) Secondly, it's a opportunity for create new jobs...(more words here why you think it can create new jobs and examples)
Let us know if you didn't get the points.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 252 350
No. of Characters: 1152 1500
No. of Different Words: 126 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.984 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.571 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.34 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 80 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 56 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 25 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 19 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 12.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.938 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.55 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.349 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.492 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.218 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Hai..
good points...
Expand each points..
I feel is is a short essay, need more words..
Tessy..