Mass media and the internet have caused people’s attention spans to get shorter. However, the overall effect has been positive: while people are less able to focus on one thing, they more than make up for it with an enhanced ability to sort through large quantities of information and find what’s important.
Speaker claims that mass media and internet providence are responsible for the reduction of people's attention span. And also states this as a positive spin as people are now able to sort more data and could analyze the trivial and important ones. The fact that people are transforming as choosy, and analyzing more data is acceptable, but the spin on the claim used by the speaker is unreasonable.
Mass media and social media (internet services) have increased the surplus number of options to pursue and to reach the apex in the field chosen. Earlier many students were forced to grow up in accordance with their parents and relatives, yet there were neither contentious activities nor any chance of disobedience. My insinuation here is not to behave unscrupulously, but a hint of individuality, behaving according to own wish or wants. There was no scope of own wish mostly because of lack of knowledge or data, though in surroundings everyone would be educated and build up a career in certain particular fields, so that would be followed. Now, there is so much data available on the internet, that one can complete studies, and courses, enhance their skills, earn money, etc with the help of the internet and social media. The exchange of ideas increases perspectives which results in development and individuality.
Here speaker states the above as a reduction in people's attention span, it gets shorter in some scenarios because people, now, realized that they are no longer interested in that kind of issue or task. Yet, a few disadvantages can be inferred with the help of emotion behind the statement made by the speaker, i.e., many people lost themselves in the virtual world and lost cognizance and few also have found many routes as an evasion instead of hard work. For example, people who got lost in creating meaningless content on social media got affected by many sorts of mental illnesses, and many parsimonious or greedy people have gone on a path to perform online money stealing.
In sum, I persuade the speaker to mention all effects for a conclusion, especially when the spin on the conclusion is indicating otherwise. On the brighter side, I undeniably concede with the reasoning and perseverance behind it. And as many people said, data improves knowledge which will help in the advancement of any organization.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 661, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...hat would be followed. Now, there is so much data available on the internet, that on...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, so, for example, in particular, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.5258426966 77% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.4196629213 48% => OK
Conjunction : 25.0 14.8657303371 168% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.3162921348 88% => OK
Pronoun: 16.0 33.0505617978 48% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 58.6224719101 89% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 12.9106741573 132% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1954.0 2235.4752809 87% => OK
No of words: 390.0 442.535393258 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.01025641026 5.05705443957 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44391917772 4.55969084622 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8518261794 2.79657885939 102% => OK
Unique words: 220.0 215.323595506 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.564102564103 0.4932671777 114% => OK
syllable_count: 621.0 704.065955056 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 6.24550561798 80% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 8.0 1.77640449438 450% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.2370786517 74% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 23.0359550562 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.8495791227 60.3974514979 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.266666667 118.986275619 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.0 23.4991977007 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.33333333333 5.21951772744 64% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.257625035186 0.243740707755 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0793532855292 0.0831039109588 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0637547605621 0.0758088955206 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.145173529365 0.150359130593 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0581470462501 0.0667264976115 87% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.2 14.1392134831 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.8420337079 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.1743820225 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.07 12.1639044944 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.1 8.38706741573 109% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 100.480337079 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.2143820225 111% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.