When XYZ lays off employees, it pays Delany Personnel Firm to offer those employees assistance in creating résumés and developing interviewing skills, if they so desire. Laid-off employees have benefited greatly from Delany's services: last year those who used Delany found jobs much more quickly than did those who did not. Recently, it has been proposed that we use the less expensive Walsh Personnel Firm in place of Delany. This would be a mistake because eight years ago, when XYZ was using Walsh, only half of the workers we laid off at that time found jobs within a year. Moreover, Delany is clearly superior, as evidenced by its bigger staff and larger number of branch offices. After all, last year Delany's clients took an average of six months to find jobs, whereas Walsh's clients took nine."
The argument states that following the layoff, the former employees should take assistance from firms such as Delany personnel Firm or Wash Personnel Firm in helping them to find new jobs. The company provides a myriad of reasons on why one should choose the Delany Personnel Firm over the Wash Personnel Firm in an attempt to subtly promote it, which it might have partnered with.
Upon superficial glance it might seem as though XYZ company has proposed this initiative of referring to a professional firm in the best interest of the people however, on careful examination it becomes convincing that this might be a business strategy to make a sustainable amount of profit while referring clients to these firms and also conceal the gravity of the situation of laying off several of its employees behind, providing alternatives to them.
The memo cites that the Delany Personnel Firm offers basic services such as offering assistance in creating resumes and developing interview skills to unemployed people at such high rates and claims to have offered jobs to its clients in an average of six months. These claims are fabricated to sound advantageous but have various loopholes which makes it fallacious. For instance, for the large sum of money that the firm is charging ,mere services such as creating resumes seem a bit more lucrative to the company than those recently unemployed. It could be that all of the money would be going to pay the large staff it employs and the great deal of branches they own. It seems extremely iniquitous to be charging these frivolous rates to unemployed individuals. Also, the argument claims of being able to find a job on an average of six months which sounds ironic for the amount of time it takes to find a job despite the sum paid to the firm.
It seems as though under the façade of stating statistics of the time it takes to find a job under the Wash Personnel Firm, is an alternative strategy to promote Delany firm due to the amount of money they charge in comparison with Wash firm which might prove to be of benefit to XYZ company on a commission basis. These are some assumptions made without any solid ground.
In conclusion, the kind of words that the memo states such as, ‘Delany is clearly superior’ ,’this would be a mistake’, prove that the company takes a clear stand and is cogently biased. The source of the statistics it provides is not well articulated giving even more reasons in becoming doubtful behind the ultimate motive of the company.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-07-27 | okazaki11 | 66 | view |
| 2023-07-19 | s.sim | 60 | view |
| 2023-02-21 | HSNDEK | 68 | view |
| 2022-10-14 | predatoros | 55 | view |
| 2022-09-05 | Lara Clarie | 68 | view |
- the best way to teach is to praise positive actions and ignore negative ones 50
- the best way to teach is to praise positive actions and ignore negative ones 62
- the best way to teach is to praise positive actions and ignore negative ones 50
- When XYZ lays off employees it pays Delany Personnel Firm to offer those employees assistance in creating r sum s and developing interviewing skills if they so desire Laid off employees have benefited greatly from Delany s services last year those who use 68
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 432 350
No. of Characters: 2039 1500
No. of Different Words: 206 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.559 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.72 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.539 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 144 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 33.231 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.374 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.615 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.353 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.353 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 434, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...e sum of money that the firm is charging ,mere services such as creating resumes s...
^^
Line 3, column 565, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...e recently unemployed. It could be that all of the money would be going to pay the large s...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 92, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...es such as, ‘Delany is clearly superior’ ,’this would be a mistake’, prove that th...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, so, well, while, for instance, in conclusion, kind of, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 68.0 55.5748502994 122% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2089.0 2260.96107784 92% => OK
No of words: 432.0 441.139720559 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.83564814815 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55901411391 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61187337015 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 204.123752495 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.490740740741 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 652.5 705.55239521 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 33.0 22.8473053892 144% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 100.719717724 57.8364921388 174% => OK
Chars per sentence: 160.692307692 119.503703932 134% => OK
Words per sentence: 33.2307692308 23.324526521 142% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.30769230769 5.70786347227 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.237523544519 0.218282227539 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0741299928387 0.0743258471296 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0683530756707 0.0701772020484 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.117199154977 0.128457276422 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0599925600341 0.0628817314937 95% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.0 14.3799401198 125% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.44 48.3550499002 96% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 12.197005988 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.38 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.67 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.2 11.1389221557 136% => OK
text_standard: 18.0 11.9071856287 151% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.