The following report appeared in the newsletter of GoldenAge Independent and Assisted Living Facilities for Seniors.
"A novel therapy has come to our attention that promises to significantly decrease the incidence of dementia in our aging community. According to a 21-year study led by the Albert Einstein College of Medicine and funded by the National Institute on Aging, while many physical activities like playing tennis or golf, swimming, bicycling, dancing, and walking for exercise provided cardiovascular benefits for seniors, only one physical activity offered protection against dementia: that was frequent dancing. At GoldenAge we currently provide residents with extensive recreational facilities. These include tennis courts, a fitness center, and lap pools in each senior apartment complex. However, we have no dance studio space at GoldenAge, nor any social dance programs.
Clearly, social dancing can prevent or delay the onset of dementia. Since the onset of dementia inevitably signals the imminent move of residents from our independent living apartments to the more heavily staffed and therefore more costly to operate assisted living quarters, we recommend the establishment of social dance programs at all GoldenAge senior residences—as a cost-effective, positive way to ward off dementia and enable our residents to remain in their independent living quarters."
Respond by writing an essay in which you discuss the specific evidence you would need to judge the validity of the argument and explain how this evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
According to the newsletter, the GoldenAge Independent and Assisted Living Facilities for Seniors claimed to establish
dance programs which will help to alleviate dementia and lure the residents to their independent living quarters.
For such claims, the argument doesn't provide enouch evidences and the assumptions are full of holes. So, the assertion
made is unwarrented because of following reasons.
To begin, what are the reasons for shifting of the senior residents out of GoldenAge? For instance, they might not be
satisfied with other facilities at GoldenAge.They may have found other residents with better care facilities. If any of
these hold true then the argument doesnot hold water.
Further, how much is cost-effective? For instance, some might offer higher value whereas some mightnot. So, the argument
doesnot provide much information about the cost. Therefore, the argument is not valid until we can have more information
about the above question.
Moreover, how long duration of social dance programs that will be held at GoldenAge? Will there be enough dance hours to
mitigate the dementia? The argument didn't considered this. In fact, wilthout the cosidiration of the dance duration,
the argument is greatly undermined.
In sum, the argument made various assumptions which are groundless, and the evidences are incomplete. Above mentioned
questions must be answered before we can check the validity of the argument made above.
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Comments
e-rater score report
No. of Words: 226 350
Minimum 250 words wanted
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 12 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 226 350
No. of Characters: 1188 1500
No. of Different Words: 133 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.877 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.257 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.724 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 84 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 74 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 10.762 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.511 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.381 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.278 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.663 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.071 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 10 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 54, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ms which will help to alleviate dementia and lure the residents to their independ...
^^
Line 3, column 31, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...arters. For such claims, the argument doesnt provide enouch evidences and the assump...
^^^^^^
Line 6, column 119, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...denAge? For instance, they might not be satisfied with other facilities at Golde...
^^^
Line 7, column 46, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: They
...fied with other facilities at GoldenAge.They may have found other residents with bet...
^^^^
Line 7, column 111, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... residents with better care facilities. If any of these hold true then the argum...
^^
Line 7, column 120, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s with better care facilities. If any of these hold true then the argument doesno...
^^^
Line 10, column 121, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... whereas some mightnot. So, the argument doesnot provide much information about t...
^^^
Line 15, column 38, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...o mitigate the dementia? The argument didnt considered this. In fact, wilthout the ...
^^^^^
Line 15, column 118, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the cosidiration of the dance duration, the argument is greatly undermined. I...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
if, may, moreover, so, then, therefore, whereas, for instance, in fact
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 3.0 13.6137724551 22% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 8.0 28.8173652695 28% => OK
Preposition: 27.0 55.5748502994 49% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1255.0 2260.96107784 56% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 223.0 441.139720559 51% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.62780269058 5.12650576532 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.86434787811 4.56307096286 85% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86739656129 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 130.0 204.123752495 64% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.582959641256 0.468620217663 124% => OK
syllable_count: 382.5 705.55239521 54% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 13.0 22.8473053892 57% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 45.7284358332 57.8364921388 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 78.4375 119.503703932 66% => OK
Words per sentence: 13.9375 23.324526521 60% => More words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 4.375 5.70786347227 77% => OK
Paragraphs: 15.0 5.15768463074 291% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.117649109618 0.218282227539 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0339749531208 0.0743258471296 46% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0577532412496 0.0701772020484 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0423511668722 0.128457276422 33% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0679392800741 0.0628817314937 108% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 14.3799401198 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.82 48.3550499002 103% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.78 12.5979740519 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.95 8.32208582834 108% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 98.500998004 67% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.2 11.1389221557 65% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Minimum 250 words wanted.
Rates: 33.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 2.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.