Humans arrived in the Kaliko Islands about 7,000 years ago, and within 3,000 years most of the large mammal species that had lived in the forests of the Kaliko Islands were extinct. Previous archaeological findings have suggested that early humans general

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Humans arrived in the Kaliko Islands about 7,000 years ago, and within 3,000 years most of the large mammal species that had lived in the forests of the Kaliko Islands were extinct. Previous archaeological findings have suggested that early humans generally relied on both fishing and hunting for food; since archaeologists have discovered numerous sites in the Kaliko Islands where the bones of fish were discarded, it is likely that the humans also hunted the mammals. Furthermore, researchers have uncovered simple tools, such as stone knives, that could be used for hunting. The only clear explanation is that humans caused the extinction of the various mammal species through excessive hunting.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

Submitted by aaish on Thu, 06/19/2014 - 17:16

The argument first introduces the phenomena of the extinction of large mammal species and then provides a plausible explanation . The author also presents various evidences that corroborates his claim. Finally he concludes that the excessive hunting led to the extinction. However there could have been other explanations for the eradication of the large mammal species. The extinction could also be a result of habitat destruction, introduction of alien species or maybe natural causes.

The first alternate explanation could be habitat destruction. The habitat provides the a...

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Comments

argument 1 -- OK

argument 2 -- OK

argument 3 -- OK

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 6
Category: Excellent Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 406 350
No. of Characters: 2157 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.489 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.313 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.797 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 159 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 132 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 83 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.615 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.758 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.462 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.3 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.479 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.105 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

Great Introduction and really great use of GRE level Vocabulary, if you have written this in within 30 minutes then you might score above 5 i think

one thing though

I have always assumed that in GRE argument writing, the writer has to weaken each or most of the author's claim and how it sums up to weaken the conclusion , at least that's how I do it.
But you concentrated more on how the overall conclusion is weakened, although your essay as a whole sounds good, i don't know if this approach is best, Let me know your views

The approach ur talking abt is more related to the question that deal with the unstated and stated assumptions. This is a different prompt where the alternate explanations are asked and thatz why the assumptions are not tat relevant here. Also this kinda prompt is very rare.

thankz 4 d review