We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The argument made by the Board of Directors of Monarch Books, that by opening a cafe within bookstore, more customers will be attracted and Monarch Books can better compete with Regal Books who have opened a cafe recently, may seem to be logical at the first glance.The argument may be correct if the premises on which it is based were to be true. However, in presenting the recommendation, the author has made some assumptions for which he has not provided any supporting evidence.
The author representing the opinion of the Board of Director of Monarch books,states that Monarch books having been at the same location for 20 years has a large customer base.If they open a cafe in the bookstore, more customers will be attracted. He suggests that children's section should be discontinued to make space for the cafe. According to the author, such a move will help them compete better with their rival Regal books who have also opened a cafe recently. The author's suggestion that the section for the children's books should be discontinued, is based on the latest national census whch apparently indicates a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. The author has assumed that due to a significance decrease in the children under age 10, the closing of kids section will not result in significant loses. However the author has not quoted any figures so as to indicate what is the actual percentage decrease in number of children under age ten. The national census considers the nation as a whole. The figures averaged over the national scale may not reflect the actual trend in the city where the Monarch Book Store is located. The author has not stated the share of chidren book sales in the total yearly sales. The sales of children's books may be responsible for a large percentrage of profit. So even with a significant decrease in number of children under ten, the move of closing the children's section may bring down sales profit. There may be an indirect effect as well. The children bring along their parents who also tend to buy books for themselves. Closing the children's section will also repel such potential customers. If the author were to present exact figures regarding the decrease in percentage of the population under age ten at the local level and show that the sales of children's books does not constitute a large percentage of total profits, it would lend a lot of strength to his argument.
The author has stated that opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café. Here the author has assumed that their has been an increase in the number of customers in the Regal Books after opening of cafe. The author has not provided any evidence to explicitly suggest that more customers have been attracted to the Regal Books since the opening of the cafe or the existing customers of the Regal Books are sigficantly pleased with the opening of the cafe. If he were to conduct or quote some already conducted survey which showed the clients' positive opinion on the opening of a cafe, this would have strengthened his point significantly. However the author has not linked the opening of cafe with the positive opinion of any client that a cafe should be opened in the book store.
Summing up,the author's argument that by opening a cafe within bookstore, more customers will be attracted and Monarch Books can better compete with Regal Books who have opened a cafe recently, may be correct. However, in making his recommendation the author has made many assumptions. In the absence of any supporting evidences to the assumptions pointed out, the recomendation is not likely to have the predicted results.
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Sentence: The author's suggestion that the section for the children's books should be discontinued, is based on the latest national census whch apparently indicates a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten.
Error: whch Suggestion: which
Sentence: The author has not stated the share of chidren book sales in the total yearly sales.
Error: chidren Suggestion: children
Sentence: The sales of children's books may be responsible for a large percentrage of profit.
Error: percentrage Suggestion: percentage
Sentence: The author has not provided any evidence to explicitly suggest that more customers have been attracted to the Regal Books since the opening of the cafe or the existing customers of the Regal Books are sigficantly pleased with the opening of the cafe.
Error: sigficantly Suggestion: ?
Sentence: In the absence of any supporting evidences to the assumptions pointed out, the recomendation is not likely to have the predicted results.
Error: recomendation Suggestion: recommendation
flaws:
No. of Words: 640 350
The second paragraph can be shorter.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 640 350
No. of Characters: 3054 1500
No. of Different Words: 227 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.03 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.772 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.56 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 211 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 159 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 100 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.431 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.68 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.349 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.468 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.159 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5