If you could change one important thing about your hometown what would you change Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer

Essay topics:

If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

If i could change one important thing about my hometown, it would be to reduce traffic jam. Day by day traffic jam problem is becoming worse. City is growing and also more and more people come to city in search of job, education and for many reasons. This causes for increase in traffic related problems. Here are some reasons and examples.

To begin with, increase in population leads to traffic jams, which is very common in my city. From early morning till late night city is fully packed with traffic and traffic related problems. People spend all most half a day to commute to their offices or schools, this is very frustrating and exhausting. The maximum suffers are emergency vehicles. Very less people care to give space to move ambulance vehicles, but others won't co-operate in this type of situation. However, people should understand or make them aware to clear the traffic when emergency vehicle comes. Advertisements on TV and radios are spreading information regarding traffic problems to educate people.

In addition, to solve traffic problems there are many solutions such as well organised signal lights, traffic signal timing plans, well planned roads to reduce commuting hassles. For instance, to install more surveillance cameras at signals to keep and eye on traffic. So that people will be more conscious while driving or getting ticket. Build more flyovers to deviate traffic. Sometimes traffic signal lights won't co-relate with next traffic signal lights due to this vehicles won't flow smoothly. That's why traffic signal planning is very important. Many cities are installing solar panels for better signal lights.

Furthermore, in many junctions there is no signal lights for pedestrian crossing. It is very risky to cross roads for senior citizens or children without proper pedestrian signal lights. Some areas have pedestrian signal lights but timing to cross is very less. I recently read in news paper that government is planning to increase pedestrian crossing time. In addition, traffic rules should be made strict because two wheeler s ride on footpath to stand in front of signal light. This is very dangerous for pedestrians to walk on footpath.

In conclusion, changes come to action only when all people support it. City can be free from traffic jams when people are aware of their responsibility towards their societies. New technology installation is necessary for well planned smooth traffic.

Votes
Average: 7 (6 votes)
This essay topic by users
Post date Users Rates Link to Content
2013-08-10 komala 77 view
2013-05-10 magicsk 70 view
Essay Categories
Essays by user magicsk :

Comments

Sentence: In addition, to solve traffic problems there are many solutions such as well organised signal lights, traffic signal timing plans, well planned roads to reduce commuting hassles.
Error: organised Suggestion: organized

Sentence: Sometimes traffic signal lights won't co-relate with next traffic signal lights due to this vehicles won't flow smoothly.
Error: co-relate Suggestion: correlate

flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.179 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.339 7.5

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 397 350
No. of Characters: 2003 1500
No. of Different Words: 223 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.464 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.045 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.491 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 162 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 114 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.179 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.339 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.536 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.29 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.478 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.099 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

Hi,

Thanks for checking my essay. Could you suggest me anything else i need to improve on. Is my essay properly organized? And do i connect to the previous sentences and next sentences correctly? I take 40 mins to write an essay but i am working on it. I try to type fast and write outline as fast as possible.

May i know your name please.
Thanks,
Anju

I have read all of your essays. Your essay level is around 24-25 in 30 nowadays (you didn't have integrated essay yet).

First, regarding your questions 1: Is my essay properly organized? The answer is Yes:

You followed this pattern exactly:

para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion

Your questions 2: And do i connect to the previous sentences and next sentences correctly? The answer is Yes too. Look at the coherence of this essays:

Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.29 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.478 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.099 0.07

Not exactly match, but they are OK. There are no problems for other essays' coherence.

'I take 40 mins to write an essay', That is a big mistake. You need to write the essay in 30 minutes exactly like you are practicing speaking. The marks we gave are not 'real marks' since you wrote essays in 40 minutes.

Could you suggest me anything else i need to improve on?

1. Type less words(around 320 - 350) but in 30 minutes. Don't need to develop a lot in essay body. Follow this pattern, so you don't waste time to think how to develop essay body:

Para 1: introduction.

Para 2:First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples (around 2 sentences) + small conclusions(1-2 sentences).

Para 3:Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing like First

Para 4:Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing like First but shorter

Para 5: Conclusion.

2. Remove your essay flaws if possible.

Your essay flaws are two:
Avg. Sentence Length: 12.76 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.641 7.5

Avg. Sentence Length is short means you need more compound or complex sentences.

Sentence Length SD is short means you need more sentence varieties.

Well, these will take your some time to improve, but if you pay attention to the flaws and keep practicing, it should not be a big issue. and you can read the suggestions we gave you from this link:

http://www.testbig.com/toefl-essays/nowadays-food-has-become-easier-pre…

3. The most important thing we believe is: analyze and summarize not just by writing your own essays but also by reading essays from other top users.

http://www.testbig.com/users/vanan
http://www.testbig.com/users/ariana2811
http://www.testbig.com/users/yjc1989
http://www.testbig.com/users/lauren

and more:
http://www.testbig.com/essay-categories/toefl

Let us know if you have more questions.