People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In these days most of the people attend to colleges and universities because many reasons, such as, new experiences, career preparation and increased knowledge. Although in our parents lives illiteracy rate was very flashy, but nowadays literacy rate enhances more and more. In addition, we can live easier in our society as long as we have enough education. Thus education is extremely vital for everybody by these two important reasons. First one is for finding a good and sufficient job and second one is for increasing our knowledge.
Firstly, education becomes a vital part in everybody's lives for finding the best and sufficient job. Not only level of our education helps us to find our favorite job, but also it makes us as an important member of our society. For instance, I have B.Sc in mining engineering but my husband has M.Sc in that major, next he find a good job with good salary but they didn't hire me as one of their employee. So I decided to continue my education and after that looking for a job. Eventually, if we have a clear and obvious goal when we choose our major, we will approach and achieve it little by little by increasing our education. But we should know maybe it will be a long way that we have to pass it and we should not be hasty.
Secondly, knowledge is extremely necessary for everybody because we cannot live like educated people if we don't have enough education. So we need education for live as a normal member of our society. Furthermore, it will be more fundamental if we have child. For example, my sister has diploma and she has two children who are twin and 9 years old. Unfortunately, when she said them to study more, they talked back and they said her that she didn't study enough too. Because of that, it is extremely important to have sufficient education and knowledge.
Finally, as I said before in this era when most of the people have high level of education, it is important for us to be the best or at least a normal member of our society. In addition, we should compare our country with other developed countries and decide to revise our country like these countries. Because world have been global and for better communication we need more knowledge and education. In brief, we can achieve to our goals by enrolling in a good university or college and continuing our favor major.
Not only level of our education helps us to find our favorite job, but also it makes us as an important member of our society.
Description: not only ... but also ... is not used properly
Sentence: For instance, I have B.Sc in mining engineering but my husband has M.Sc in that major, next he find a good job with good salary but they didn't hire me as one of their employee.
Description: The fragment he find a is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace find with verb, past tense
flaws:
Sentences need to be polished.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 420 350
No. of Characters: 1877 1500
No. of Different Words: 190 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.527 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.469 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.575 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 124 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.078 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.857 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.344 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.482 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.226 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5