TOEFl Integrated writing Task - The "Pluto War"
In the lecture, the speaker presents the controversy over the lost of Pluto as a planet in our solar systems – the "Pluto War". The speaker rejects the International Astronomical Union Conference decision presented in the reading passage, and provides several points to doubt the validity of the conference's decision.
The first point the speaker addresses is the statement from the reading passage that astronomers from all over the world participated in the vote. However, the speaker presents data which contradicts this statement. The speaker claims that less the 10% of the astronomers participated in the conference, and only half of the actually voted. According to the speaker, this cast a doubt on the right of that small group of people to make this decision. The speaker even offered a solution to the attendance problem by voting an electronically. More than that, the speaker also asserts that the same definition that was used for Pluto to lose his position as a planet can be used to role out other planet, such as earth.
The speaker also presents a non scientific point of view on the "Pluto war" debate. For example, she mentioned that Mexico, the state in which Pluto was discovered, announced the "Pluto day" in order to fight this decision. The speaker also mentions that Pluto has a special place for children since the name of the planet was offered by a 10 years old girl.
To summarize, the speaker in the lecture doubts the specific points raised in the passage regarding Pluto's lost of planet position. It can be inferred from her words that the "Pluto war" debate was not addressed seriously enough, and that Pluto should gain his planet status back.
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flaws:
Try to find 3 doubts from the reading passage.
The correct pattern:
para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3
Don't need a conclusion.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 10
No. of Words: 283 250
No. of Characters: 1359 1200
No. of Different Words: 142 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.102 4.3
Average Word Length: 4.802 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.573 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 73 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 44 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.769 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.091 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.615 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.418 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.597 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.147 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4