Some people think that parents should teach tchildren how to be good member of society. Others, however believe this that school is the place to learn this.

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Some people think that parents should teach tchildren how to be good member of society. Others, however believe this that school is the place to learn this.

But what I personally think is that former parents are far batter then latter. Actually how to be good in society can only be taught by parents. One cannot learn it from school, as in school we are only taught about knowledge, leadership, and other activities like dancing, singing etc. but not sociality. The tendency to colligate with others can only be learnt if a child lives in society and his parents should let him know about how to live in society, how to talk to people of ages of all the range from youngster to a senior citizen, how to negotiate or deal with people with different natures like people with high self esteem or people with loose temper. All these things one cannot learn it from school. That's why children who spend there whole school life in boarding schools can never perform well in a society also they can never able to manage with people with higher or lower level from them. But those who are taught by there parents about society do very well in every field.For an example there was a big business man used to live in our society. Everybody called him bad man as he never talk to anyone and if someone tries to talk to him he never replied in polite manner, even in his company he never talk to his employees politely and always scold them if even a small thing went wrong. But the truth of his life is that he studied in very well known school and done his graduation from a top most university but and at the same time he hardly spent any time with his parents in his school days also they might never tell him about society so now although he is successful in his business because of his good schooling but he is looser in society as nobody likes him and they call him bad man.

So what I think that latter parents are wrong in their opinion because every child can only learn sociality from his parents only.

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2013-08-08 akshaya deep singhal 50 view
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Sentence: One cannot learn it from school, as in school we are only taught about knowledge, leadership, and other activities like dancing, singing etc. but not sociality.
Error: sociality Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: The tendency to colligate with others can only be learnt if a child lives in society and his parents should let him know about how to live in society, how to talk to people of ages of all the range from youngster to a senior citizen, how to negotiate or deal with people with different natures like people with high self esteem or people with loose temper.
Error: colligate Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
Number of Paragraphs: 2 5

better to have 5 paragraphs:

para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 345 350
No. of Characters: 1484 1500
No. of Different Words: 171 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.31 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.301 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.029 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 91 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 53 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 24 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 16 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 34.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 22.433 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.9 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.416 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.473 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.218 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 2 5

Well, you need to work on it step by step:

First of all, try to develop essays in 5 paragraphs like this:

para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion

Second, you will need to improve your language by reading good essays and articles.

Third, submit more essays and get them checked out.

Let us know if you have more questions.